


The Nightmares Within

by Salty_And_Sassy_Sarcasm



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Anorexia (later chapters), Bulimia, Dark Sides, Deceit is a slimy boi, Demons, Eating Disorders, Explosions, Fire, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Im sorry for hurting out precious babies, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nightmares, Salt and Sarcasm, Sassy Virgil, Self-Depricating Thoughts, Self-Harm, Shipping, Suicidal Thoughts/Actions, Swearing, Virgil has magic, battles, just saying, mostly just angst, someone might die, theres some fluff i swear, tw, tw swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-06-29 16:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15733182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salty_And_Sassy_Sarcasm/pseuds/Salty_And_Sassy_Sarcasm
Summary: Virgil always did his best to defend the Mindscape from the monsters. However, one night, he had slipped up, letting a monster get away. Now the sides must come together to defeat the nightmare, and even if they succeed, they can never escape from the nightmares within.





	1. The Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is a bit less angsty than the later ones, but it will get dark eventually. Anyways, this is my first fan fiction, and first time on AO3, so I hope you like it! Also sorry if this is a bit short, I’ll try to post every other day, since these aren’t very long. I’ll do my best to be consistent, but I’ve got a lot of stuff going on right now so sorry if I don’t post enough

  1. Prompt: You have nearly arrived at your dream destination. Thus far, the trip has been uneventful, and there’s only an hour’s drive left between you and vacation bliss—when suddenly the vehicle breaks down, leaving you stranded.



 

 

   

     The mindscape was a dangerous place. No side knew that better than Virgil. Every night, when the sides were sleeping soundly in their rooms, Virgil refused to slumber. Instead, the anxious trait stayed awake and alert, awaiting the dangerous shadowy beasts that would soon emerge from the dark, cold night. Virgil was the one who attracted them, so he might as well demolish the problems he caused. After all, though it didn’t seem so, the edgy side loved his family, and he had sworn to protect them.

 

No matter the cost.

 

    While the other sides were busy creating Thomas’ dreams for the night, Virgil stayed in his room, preparing for the treacherous monsters that would soon advance towards the place Virgil called home. He honed his swords, checked for his knives, threw on his battle gear, and most importantly-

 

   Purple mist erupted from the anxious side’s hands. His eyes faded into a glossy, alien-like, inky black. Dark purple veins pulsed violently under his sickly pale skin, and his entire body raged with power. The room darkened significantly, and black fog covered the ground like a blanket. Shadows danced across the room as the owner’s power grew. As Virgil heard his companions enter their rooms, the angsty side slunk quietly out of his room, careful not to make a single sound, in fear of waking his dear friends.

 

     He walked outside and stood just outside the doorway. He had been standing there for about fifteen minutes when heard a small rustle in the bushes, and immediately dropped to a defensive crouch. The shadowy demon emerged from the brush, and snarled menacingly at the powerful anxious trait in front of it. The beast’s razor sharp teeth flashed yellow as a wave of hot breath blasted into Virgil’s face. Virgil stood his ground, however, and stared directly into the demon’s piercing yellow eyes. His veins pulsed, and another flicker of mist was formed. Virgil took a deep breath, seeing the other monsters approaching. In one swift, skillful motion, Virgil drew his sword and slashed. The battle was on.

 

    The next day, Roman had walked into the darker trait’s room, searching for him. He couldn’t help but worry about the angsty trait. He should hate him, he knows that, but he just HAD to be nervous when Virgil hadn’t come out of his room. He knew that Virgil didn’t get a lot of sleep, due to his anxiety and insomnia, but 3 PM? That’s just ridiculous, even for Hot Topic! Surely he must be awake by now. Roman took a deep breath and turned the knob on the painted black door. The princely side saw the emo buried under a pile of huge, warm blankets and sighed.

 

   “Really, Virge? You’re still asleep? It’s 3 PM, so get up J.D-lightful, we’ve got stuff to do.” Roman rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but chuckle as Virgil groaned and sleepily rubbed his eyes.

 

“Five more minutes…..” Virgil yawned.

“No, you’ve already slept the whole day. Patton’s worried about you. He thinks you’re hurt.”

 

   That got him up. Virgil straightened his back quickly, hissing slightly as he put pressure on his wounded arm. But he would be fine, right? Roman didn’t seem to notice, as he said, “Come on, and hurry up. We’re going on a road trip, and Patton’s already packed your bags, so we’re leaving as soon as you’re ready.” Virgil quickly sprang out of his bed, into the cold air of his room. He swiftly got changed into his purple patchwork hoodie and jeans, applied his dark eyeshadow, and brushed his hair, all while keeping pressure off of his injured limb.

 

   “Stupid nightmares, always injuring me at the worst times.” Virgil grumbled as he wrapped up the still bloody wound that the beast (a nightmare), inflicted on his bicep. Once all of his morning duties were finished, he scampered downstairs to greet the other 3 sides. Patton beamed at his “son” as he approached. Logan closed his book and stood next to the fatherly trait.

 

“Hey kiddo! I made pancakes this mornin’, but you weren’t awake. You’re welcome to heat them up in the microwave if ya want one!” Patton chirped happily, bouncing up and down like a little kid on a sugar rush.

 

“Oh, um, thanks Patt.” Virgil awkwardly shifted, avoiding eye contact to the best of his ability, afraid that the other sides would see the pain in his dark brown eyes. But even though Logan didn’t know emotions very well, he could quite clearly see signs of physical discomfort. He did have a masters degree in the medical field (along with many other things), after all.

 

“Virgil, is everything alright? You seem to be, in pain..” The concern in Logan’s voice was suppressed by the logical trait, but it was still clear as day. The corners of Patton’s mouth dropped a little, as he noticed the way Virgil was behaving as well. But before any of them had the chance to say anything more, Roman walked into the room with that wide, charming smile that only a prince could pull off. Roman swaggered up to Virgil and lightly poked his shoulder.

 

“I see that Sunshine over here finally woke up, huh?” Roman smirked at Virgil, waiting for the darker trait to get agitated at the nickname.

 

  “I see that Sir-Sing-ALot over here didn’t get any smarter, either, huh?” Virgil attempted to be as sassy as possible, but it fell short of convincing. Despite this, none of the other sides seemed to notice. Roman made offended Princey noises, per usual, Patton’s bright and cheery disposition returned, and Logan seemed to eye him warily, but didn’t press him on the issue.

 

“Well kiddos, I think that if we’re all done being mean to each other, we can head to the car and get on the road!” He glanced over at Virgil and Roman, signaling to cut it out, and stop arguing. Virge, I’ve already put your stuff in the car, so don’t worry about that, but I do think you should grab some extra stuff to, if ya need to.” Patton smiled at the other sides, and Logan nodded.

 

“I’ll go confirm that we have everything necessary for optimal comfort on this expedition.” Logan briskly turned away and headed to the car, not waiting for the sides’ response. Oh, Logan. Always one for unnecessarily complicated vocabulary.

 

  “Anything else you need kiddo?” Patton looked away from the door to meet Virgil’s gaze, which the anxious trait quickly dropped.

 

   “Uh, yeah. I’ll just. Uh. Pack up some stuff I need from my bathroom.” With that, Virgil raced up the stairs, rushed into his bathroom, and rummaged through his drawers. Bandages. He quickly shoved as many as he could fit into his toiletry bag, along with extra makeup, his toothbrush, and other items necessary for hygiene. When that was all said and done, Virgil greeted the other sides downstairs, and made their way out the door. It would be okay. Nothing would happen. Virgil’s arm would be fine, why wouldn’t it? Virgil took a deep breath as Patton started the car, and drove down the street, humming softly to some classic road trip songs.


	2. Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thanks to everyone that left a kudos on my last chapter! I really appreciate it! I love seeing that people are liking my stories, it really helps motivate me to write more! Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this, stay safe kiddos!
> 
> This isn't the best chapter in the world, but I hope you still enjoy reading it!

 “UGH are we there yet? I’m so booooredddd….” Roman stretched out the last word into a loud, annoying whine, and Virgil immediately snapped at him. He was fed up with the prince’s complaining, especially because they hadn’t even been on the road for an hour.

 

    “Are we parked? Noooo~. SO HOW WOULD WE BE THERE EXACTLY ROMAN!?” Everyone in the car was startled by Virgil’s loud, unapologetic voice. Even Virgil, to be honest. He didn’t want to yell, but his arm was in so much pain that he couldn’t think straight (Ever. He’s not straight). Not to mention his mind was clouded with anxiety, paranoia, and guilt from the previous night. The nightmare had gotten away. Virgil had no choice but to flee when his bicep was slashed by the last beast he was up against. It was still out there. It could still hurt him. Or his family.

 

    “Virgil, Roman, play nice back there. Logan and I are taking you to Disney World. This is a treat, and we expect you to behave like you deserve this privilege. We know you can, kiddos.” Patton spoke in his signature “dad voice”, which immediately made the two bickering sides quiet down. It was dark out, and they were about an hour away. Nothing significant really happened for most of the ride, but after about 48 minutes, weird things started to happen to Patton’s car.

 

   There was a loud  _ thump  _ in the trunk of his car, which caused Virgil to become more on edge than usual.  _ Oh dear god. What if it's the nightmare? What if I failed them and they all die?! Oh god, oh god, oh god….. _

 

It only got worse from there. Eventually they heard a loud  _ POP! _ From the back tire, and Patton had no choice but to pull over. Virgil was going into full on panic mode, and all of the sides knew it. They knew what was going to occur if they didn’t help Virgil, and they did not want to witness it again. Roman softly asked if he could touch Virgil, and pulled him into a tight hug when the panicky side nodded slightly. Meanwhile, in the front seats of the car, Patton and Logan were frantically trying to get cellphone reception to call someone to rescue them, but it was no use. There was absolutely no chance of calling for help, and it started to pour heavily. The raindrops battered the roof of the car, echoing through Virgil’s ears like gunshots.

 

    Virgil was crying, and shaking, and wincing in pain as Roman “comfortingly” rubbed his arm. All of them were panicking, but the more parent-like sides attempted to soothe their nerves. Virgil was on the verge (pun intended) of a panic attack, and Roman tried desperately to stop him from hyperventilating. 

 

   Patton was also crying. He was confused. He was terrified. This wasn’t how the trip was supposed to go! He just wanted to see his family happy.. Especially Virgil, who had seemed exhausted, depressed, and uptight for so long now. He wanted to help, and now he had ruined everything. Patton failed. He failed his job at protecting his family.  _ Failure. Useless. Pathetic. Awful excuse for a father. They hate you. It’s your fault.  _ Patton started hyperventilating as he tried to choke back tears. Logan noticed, and identified an oncoming panic attack, using information he gathered from Virgil’s experiences. “Patton?” Logan said softly. Before Logan could say anything more, Patton pulled himself closer to Logan, grabbing the collar of his black polo shirt, and sobbed heavily into the logical side’s neck. Logan tensed for a second, but then went limp in Patton’s arms. Patton needed him. He felt his arms move to the upset side’s back, and he rubbed circles on it. Logan combed his hand through Patton’s silky light purple hair, and helped him to calm down, and not be so hard on himself. That is, until they heard a loud, throaty growl from behind their car.

 

    Virgil froze.  _ No. No why. NO PLEASE NO!  _ The anxious side’s eyes widened as his mind screamed at him.  _ HOW COULD YOU LET IT GET AWAY!? IT WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?!? _ All of Roman’s attempts to soothe the panicked trait’s nerves were useless, for Virgil had started to thrash around, anxiety and guilt prickling in the his chest. The fear only got worse as he sensed the roaring fire forming in the gas tank. The car was going to explode. Roman felt Virgil tense up as the fearful side let out a shrill whimper. Roman smelled the gas burning, and slowly the two traits in the front realised what was happening.

 

    “Kiddos, get out of the car. NOW.” Patton’s fatherly voice rose to a commanding tone, warning his family of danger. The sides didn’t need to be told twice. They all threw open their doors swiftly, all except Virgil, who was holding his arm and whimpering in pain and terror. Roman’s eyes flitted anxiously around the scene. His voice was edged with concern and frustration as he addressed the darker side.

 

  “Virgil, please, you need to get out of the car, I know you’re scared, but you’ll die if you stay in there much longer!” Roman practically had to shout over the violent hissing of the gas tank. Time was running out.

 

Virgil looked up at the standing side with weary, tear filled eyes.

 

“We’ll die either way.”

  
  


   The other sides’ eyes widened at the trait’s statement, and stumbled over their words as Virgil slowly got out of the vehicle and pushed them away from danger. Virgil closed his eyes, and tightened his grip on Patton’s cardigan. The smoke from the gas tank filled the air in the immediate area, choking the side’s lungs and making their eyes burn more than the tears had already caused them to. Fire engulfed the darkness, illuminating the forest beside the road. The sides’ shoulders tensed as Virgil started counting down from 10.

 

_ 10, _

 

_ 9, _

 

_ 8, _

 

_ 7, _

 

   Sobs wracked Patton’s body as he and Virgil shielded their friends. Virgil was crying too, his mind racing with the knowledge that a powerful enemy lay just beyond the forest line.

 

_ 6, _

 

_ 5, _

 

  Virgil’s voice grew to a panicked whisper as he sputtered out the numbers. 

 

_ 4, _

__

__ Logan and Roman had started to shake as well as Virgil got closer to the end of his counting. They heard the gas fire fizzle and roar as it destroyed the vehicle, but they did not dare to look back at the wreckage, for fear of a full mental breakdown.

 

_ 3, _

 

_ 2, _

 

__ The sides hitched their breaths, Patton let out another choked sob, and Virgil’s shoulders rattled.

 

_ 1. _

 

 The fire let out a single mighty roar one last time before it reached the gas tank. 

 

_ BOOM!! _

 

   The sides ducked for non-existant cover as debris shot through the air, launching at their faces. The driver’s side door barely missed Patton’s head as it whipped towards the moral side. Roman screamed, and Logan held Virgil close as the blaze spread through the trees, forming a ring of rumbling fire around the sides. 

  
  


They were trapped.


	3. The Nightmare Attacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry I’ve been gone! I’ve been busy dealing with a lot of difficult things lately, so it’ll be hard to upload frequently. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter!

  If the explosion wasn’t stressful enough for Virgil, they suddenly heard a deafening growl from behind them as a large black shadow emerged, teeth bared.  _ Oh no.  _

 

   The sides turned to the source of the sharp noise, eyes wide. “Wha-What is that thing?!” Roman whispered, voice shaky and edged with fear, though he tried to appear brave as always. 

 

“A nightmare. It got away, after doing  _ THIS. _ ” Virgil shrugged off his hoodie and pulled up his purple sleeve to reveal the wound. It was painful, the red blood continued to ooze from the scar. 

 

“How did it get to you?!” Patton’s concerned, panicked voice rose against the blaze encasing them. 

 

   “It was going to hurt you. I do this every night, but I apparently couldn’t defend you guys from it this time around. I failed..” Virgil’s shoulders dropped as the others’ gazes fell onto him. They were speechless, but it wasn’t like they would get the chance to say anything anyways.

 

The shadow let out a loud roar as it got impatient.

 

_ Enough with the pathetic lies, Anxiety, all you ever do is fail. Don’t kid yourself, you didn’t just lose this time. YOU LOST EVERY TIME. _

 

  Tears streamed down the aforementioned side’s face. This was what these beasts were capable of. Weakening you by exploiting your deepest, darkest fears, and using them to cause physical pain. And now, Virgil could see the details of the monster standing menacingly in front of him, due to the wall of fire that smoldered behind he and his friends.

 

   The monster had piercing yellow eyes that could stare into your soul, and patchy, mangled fur. It’s scraggly front legs were bulky, and its feet were clawed. Razor sharp spines gleamed on its thin, bony back, and its tail was a menacing red serpent. The most notable part of it, though, was the crimson blood that was splattered all over its midnight colored fur. Most of the substance was found around its claws and fangs, showing the true damage that it had caused to Virgil.

 

   “He is  _ NOT _ pathetic, and he hasn’t failed!  _ You _ have! If you want to hurt my family, then you’ll have to go through _ me _ first!!” Patton let out a low growl and stood in front of the others protectively, much to their surprise and concern.

 

_ Hahaha… _ The monster laughed coldly.  _ Oh, Patton… You’ve always been the useless one. Honestly, you think you can defeat me? Tough luck, “kiddo”.  _ It spat out the last word like it was poison, and it infected Patton’s heart as if it was.

 

   Patton’s courage immediately evaporated, and the shadowy beast took it as an opening. Before the others could even shout a warning, sharp claws pierced the moral side’s chest.

 

   “PATTON!!!!” Logan cried out when he saw Patton’s disheveled body crumple to the ground. “Roman, go help Virgil take thi-...this THING down! I need to save Patton!” With that, Logan turned away, rushed to where Patton had been swung, and conjured a med kit.

 

  As Roman rushed to assist Virgil in the battle, Logan kneeled beside Patton, muttering to the injured side. Patton opened his eyes as Logan lifted his shirt to inspect the sharp wound.

 

“Lo-Logan? I-I… I tried t-to..” Patton couldn’t even finish his sentence before falling unconscious due to pain and blood loss.

 

“Shhhh… I know P-Patton.. I will save you.” Logan tried to keep his voice even, but it was a difficult task due to Patton’s broken state.

   Patton’s blue polo shirt was torn and bloodstained. Underneath the shredded fabric was a huge, gaping wound that  was oozing with the red liquid. Patton’s eyes were dull and full of salty tears as he fell into a deep slumber. Logan fought back a gag as he began gently wrapping the gash in Patton’s weak, heaving chest. He was crying, but the tears were mingled with the sweat that rolled down his face due to the effort, concentration, and stress of it all. His breathing was ragged and panicked, though he tried to feign numbness. He did feel emotions, but they couldn’t get in the way now. Not when Patton was like this. Not when his family needed him.

 

“VIRGIL! WATCH OUT!” Roman yelled at the darker trait as another lunge was directed at him. Virgil just barely dodged a blow, and winced when the demon’s serpent tail skimmed its fangs across his pale shoulder. 

 

“It’s no use! I can barely lift my sword!” Virgil was losing hope.

 

  “We have to keep trying! You saw what it did to Patton, do you want that to happen to the rest of us?” Roman had to shout above the roars that were emitted from the beast, and the smoldering fire that trapped them. Virgil shook his head violently and slashed his sword harmlessly against the nightmare’s flank.

 

“N-No! I just- I can’t.. I-I… I can’t fight.. M-my ar-arm…..!”

 

Roman’s eyes widened as he saw the wound getting bigger, and bloodier with each swing of Virgil’s sword. 

 

“Oh my stars-! Is there anything you can do without using your injured arm?” Roman winced as claws raked his leg slightly, due to a sloppily executed dodge. 

 

“I-uh- Well… There is one thing I can do…” Virgil looked hesitantly at his hands.

 

_ HAHAHA, YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN DEFEAT ME WITH YOUR USELESS POWERS?! I AM YOUR DARKEST FEARS! YOU CREATED ME WITH AS MUCH POWER AS YOU, AND YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME DOWN WITH SIMPLE MAGIC?! _

 

“Wha-Wait, you CREATED this!?” Roman looked shocked. 

 

“I’ll explain later! We need to focus on getting rid of this before it causes any more harm!” Virgil shouted over the cold laughter of the nightmare that was in front of them as it teased the two sides. It disappeared and reappeared, slinking into the shadows and back again to let the evil cackle echo through the air.

 

_ Haha.. yes Roman, I’m surprised you were able to figure that out. You are inferior to the other sides in the knowledge department, along with “other things”.  _ Roman winced as the monster gestured to his stomach, which Roman saw as nothing but fat.

 

_ And Virgil…  _ **Master** _... I hope you realize that nobody cares about what your doing. They all hate you. You caused this. You will always be the bad guy, because you created US. And look what that caused… _

 

   The nightmare walked towards a disheveled Logan hunched over the moral side’s body. It’s claws clicked against the road as it paced over. Virgil hitched a breath as he saw Logan’s tears, and almost screamed when he saw the reason the logical side was crying. Patton. He had blood trickling down his chin, dripping onto his collar, and he wasn’t moving. The huge gash in his chest was obviously painful, and his shirt and cardigan were blood-soaked.

 

_ Logan… Can’t you see that he’s beyond repair?  _ Logan flinched as the monster addressed him, but did not make any move to get away.

 

_ You always were… Infinitesimal… I mean, who needs an emotionless robot for a side?  _

 

“Roman. Stand back.” Virgil’s voice was steady, but hesitant. He wanted to make sure nobody would get hurt from what he was about to do. 

 

“Wha-”

 

“Just do it.”

 

“But-”

 

“Get Patton and Logan far away. Please. It’s for your own good.”

 

“Virgil-” Roman started to speak before realizing the look in the darker trait’s eyes. Wisdom. Power. Skill. But most importantly, the need to protect whomever he loves most. This alone caused Roman to nod, turn away, and collect Logan and Patton. This was Virgil’s battle to fight, and Roman would not be the one to get in the way of destiny.


	4. For Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god thanks so much everyone who liked and commented on my last chapter! It really does mean the world I me! I hope you like this one too, even if it is a little short. Stay safe everyone 

“HEY! DOG BREATH!” Virgil shouted snarkily, his voice feigning bravery. As soon as the shadow whipped around, Virgil spoke again.

 

“I. am.  _ not. _ Afraid.” 

 

_ Oh really, Master? Is that why I can so easily get into your weak little heart? _

 

   “I am not weak, and I certainly am not your ‘Master’.” Virgil snapped. “I created you from my own fears, to take the pain away from myself. But now you have inflicted pain on the people I love, and I will stop at  _ nothing _ in order to protect them. From you, and all of the nightmares I have summoned over the years.”

 

_ Prove it. _

 

   Virgil closed his eyes. Power surged into his veins. His blood boiled as purple energy formed around his hands. His hood turned into a dark cloak clasped around his pale, black veined neck, and his hair glowed violet. Purple tinted midnight wings sprouted from his back, flapping delicately behind him. Roman gasped audibly at the sight. When he opened his eyes again, they were pitch black, like a raven, making his dark makeup look like an extension of the inky pools. Virgil glared at the monster he had created with his beady, alien-like eyes.

 

“Fine.” 

 

   With that, the two figures charged at each other. Virgil dodged a blow to his thigh, and shot up into the night sky on his jet black and purple tinted wings. He summoned a powerful blast from his hands, and narrowly avoided the monster’s gaping maw as it went in to take a bite out of the vigilant side. The prince, teacher, and dad were underneath a tall, strong pine tree that was protected from the fire, and away from the raging war. Roman muttered to Logan, who was continuing to fret over the injured side.

 

    “H-how did we not know about this?” Roman was dumbfounded as he gawked at the winged side in the battle. He could feel the pull of his anxious energy, and knew that Virgil was letting all of his power be utilized.

 

“I’m… not exactly sure..” Logan distractedly mumbled in response, more focused on the wounded side lying on the hard road next to him.  _ Thank god this isn’t a busy road, or we would be done for.  _ Logan sighed as he felt Roman’s gaze burning into him, concerned for Logan’s sanity.

 

“I’m just.. Worried. For Patton. For Virgil. For all of our friends, because I just don’t know..” Logan’s eyes were red as he stared in horror as the darkest friend fought off the terrible nightmare he,  _ somehow _ , created. 

 

“You don’t know.. What?” Roman asked. He was just as scared as the logical trait.

 

  “I don't know-” Logan hesitated. “I don’t know if we are going to survive this…” The trait’s usually static voice trailed off, as if he was too overwhelmed to speak. He focused on healing the trait lying weakly on the floor and murmured to himself. “But I swear… I will do my best to keep us alive. For you guys. My…” Logan bit his lip awkwardly. He wasn’t good with emotions. 

 

“Family.” 

 

Roman nodded, and turned back to the scene in front of the cowering Sides.

 

Virgil flapped around the beast, diving and ripping at mangled fur at any opportunity. But despite Virgil’s best attempts, the monster just kept charging, slicing Virgil’s hoodie and sinking it’s teeth into the winged side’s limbs.  

 

“I DID NOT CREATE YOU TO HURT THE PEOPLE I LOVE!!!” Virgil screamed over the beating of his own chest, and the roar of the fire below him.

 

_ Oh, you didn’t, huh?  You think I care,  _ _ “Master”?  You’re weak. You know you are. Just embrace it, and give in. You’re not even strong enough to pick up a fork. _

 

Virgil hissed loudly at the remark. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t want to eat. It was his old “friends” who caused this disorder. The friends who had teased him relentlessly, shooting down every bit of self esteem Virgil had left.

 

Now he has none, and has the scars to prove it.

 

Virgil let out a shriek of pain as the beasts claws raked his wings. Virgil had gotten two caught up in his thoughts to dodge, and now his feathers littered the ground, burning in the ferocious embers below. Virgil, thrown off by the blow, tumbled to the road, barely missing the blaze beside him.

 

The monster approached, laughing in that cold way that had grown all too familiar to the anxious side.

 

He was done for.


	5. It’s Over... Right?

Patton blinked in confusion at the emptiness around him.

 

_ Where am I? _

 

   The last thing that Patton had seen was the nightmare, clawing through the moral side’s chest as his friends screamed at the blood that emerged. Now there was just..

 

_ Nothing..? _

__

   Patton’s panic grew as he the realization that his friends were no longer in sight, and started frantically moving around the dark plain, searching for his family. 

 

  “Come on! There has to be  _ something  _ that leads me back to them! They’re in trouble! I have to help them!” Patton mumbled as he paced the empty space, finding nothing but a continuous abyss ahead of him. He remembered the faces of his friends, all terrified as the monster slashed his ribcage, and started to shake.

 

“Oh god… what if they’re hurt? Or worse! And I can’t help them because I’m stu-” Patton’s voice trailed off as a bright light appeared ahead of him.

 

  The moral side slowly approached the beacon, and hope fluttered in his chest as he realized what it was.

 

“A portal… back to my friends!” Patton gasped as he quickly launched himself through the glimmering portal, desperate to assist his friends.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

    Logan was anxiously pacing around the tree as Roman watched Virgil’s battle, gazing intently at the winged figure’s every move. Logan had just finished wrapping up Patton’s wound, so now all they had to do was wait for everything to be over, and all go back to normal. 

 

But of course, it wasn’t that easy. 

 

    The second that Logan turned away from the battle, they heard a loud cry of pain from Virgil. Logan quickly whipped around and stared in shock. 

 

    Virgil was lying on the ground, writhing in pain as he rolled through ash covered feathers that were ripped off of his jet-black wings. Worst of all, he couldn’t do anything. The monster was too powerful. It would crush he and Roman in an instant, and go right back to Virgil. Plus, they were both too injured, one emotionally, and one physically, to do anything about the situation unfolding in front of them.

 

    Suddenly, Roman noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. The side that Logan and Roman had spent so much time caring for was now struggling to get off of the ground, determined as ever.

 

“Patton! You’re alive!” Logan’s tone was bright and surprised, but immediately went back to it’s usual monotone pitch. “Patton, you need to rest. You’re injured. That applies to you too, Roman. Don’t think I can’t see you trying to sneak away to Virgil’s side.”

 

Roman whipped around, startled by Logan’s voiced observation.

 

   “Uh-I. Um, Well, UH.” Roman stuttered, knowing he had been caught. Meanwhile, Patton simply kept trying to stand, not even acknowledging that the logical side had addressed him. 

 

   “Patton, seriously. You can’t do anything to help.” Logan attempted to speak softly, trying to soothe the rage growing inside of Patton.

 

   “No.” Patton responded simply, raising his gaze to meet Logan’s, once he got on his feet. “I’m going to help Virgil, and I know  _ just _ how to do it.” With that, Patton took a deep breath, and clenched his fists, turning his body to face the raging fire.

 

It all happened so suddenly, Logan thought he had imagined it.

 

  One second the logical side was staring at a weak, blood covered, emotional side, and the next…

 

Logan didn’t even know.

 

  The moral side was no longer on the ground, he was floating inches above it. Light blue, almost white, mist fluttered around his hands. His eyes were glowing the same color, his pupils and irises lost in a sea of light and mystery. His hair was ruffled by the wind that howled around him, swirling around his body like a tornado. He looked so powerful, and for a moment, Logan no longer saw something fragile that needed protecting.

 

    He saw the independent, strong, determined, and loyal Patton that was beneath all the dad jokes, puns, and outright silliness. He knew that if one person could save Virgil and the rest of them now, it was Patton.

 

So that’s exactly what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who left comments on my previous chapter! I’m really glad you guys are liking it so far! Stay safe 


	6. Protection

_ Hahahaa… Looks like the featherless bird forgot how to fly.. How pathetic can you get, Virgey?  _

 

      Virgil shivered at the cruel demon’s taunts.  _ That nickname.. _ Virgil didn’t want to remember, but oh he did. His mind raced with the memories that overtook him. He stared in shock and horror as the shadowy figure warped into many, all taking forms of people from his past. The main nightmare morphed into a face that Virgil just couldn’t forget. The one who haunts his own nightmares. The one who caused all of the pain. Who caused Virgil to do what he does to himself. The one who caused him to starve.

 

  “No...NO!!!” Virgil’s head became louder and louder, flashbacks of the things that these people have done to him became more and more violent. The anxious side curled into a ball as the memories overtook him. He couldn’t stop it. All of the things he had tried to forget just came back too quickly.

 

   Virgil whimpered, but he could do nothing more as sobs quickly caught up to him. He couldn’t breathe. All he could do was lay there, broken and weak, letting the anxiety creep into his veins as his body went cold and numb. He knew what this was, but he wished he didn’t. He was having a panic attack, but there was so much more behind it than just that. The fear and paranoia brought up by simple memories was much more than simply anxiety, and Virgil couldn’t fight it alone.

 

Luckily for him, he didn’t have to.

 

  “HEY! GET AWAY FROM MY FRIEND!!” Virgil weakly turned to the source of the sound, and couldn’t help but stare in shock at what he saw. 

 

_ Oh, Virgey’s little friend wants to play too? Well I don’t see why not…  _

     The demon laughed twistedly as it changed forms again. This time, however, it transformed into 3 different figures. One with a black hoodie, one with a princely-looking suit, and another dressed in a blue tie. 

 

_    The sides.. But why is that the nightmare they chose for Patton?  _ Virgil thought numbly as another sob shook his shoulders. He didn’t have to wait long for that question to be answered.

 

  The copies moved around Patton menacingly, like a pack of sharks circling their prey. They started to speak, voices warbled and statically, like a recording gone bad.

 

_ Weak. Pathetic excuse for a dad. Nothing but a joke. _ They chanted.

 

   The magic swirling around Patton flickered as the words sliced their way into his heart. Virgil could see how much the words affected him. Especially Logan’s, who seemed to be the one slighting him most often. 

 

_ Useless. No help. Can’t do anything right.  _

 

Patton’s knees wobbled as a sob quickly took all of the strength from him. He crumpled to the ground as the fire slowly roared closer.

 

“PATTON!” Virgil cried loudly, forgetting all of the thoughts that were swarming his own mind. Now only one remained.

 

_ Protect. _

 

   With a start, Virgil sprang off of the ground to his feet, facing the figures that had hurt his friend. His  _ family _ . He flapped his ash covered wings, making the particles fall around him, swirling together with his violet tinted magic as he shot up into the night sky. Distracted, the beast transitioned into its original form and turned on Patton violently. Virgil’s chest burned with rage as a low growl escaped his gritted teeth. His magic started to clump in his hands, slowly forming a purple ball of energy. As the beast slowly advanced on a crying Patton, Virgil shouted.

 

“NOBODY HURTS MY FAMILY AND LIVES!!!” 

 

    Suddenly a huge ball of fire erupted in Virgil’s hands. Patton knew what his son was doing, and quickly dashed behind a tree, away from the blast zone. The nightmare howled in rage as Virgil launched the flaming orb, straight at the creature. A huge blast of purple light absorbed every last inch of darkness in the area, coating the trees with ash. The beast let out one last deafening cry of agony as the light burned its flesh. The light dissipated, and Virgil collapsed onto the ground.

 

    “Kiddo!” Patton cried to the others. “Guys! Come quick! Virgil’s hurt!” The fatherly trait rushed to Virgil’s side, holding the limp figure to his chest protectively.

 

They were safe from the nightmare, but their victory certainly did not come without a cost.

  
  
  
  
  



	7. He’ll be Okay, right..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone for being so understanding! I’m still working through some things, so I can’t say my posting will be consistent. Anyways, I know this is short, but I really hope you like this long-awaited chapter!

        The trait who had just fought so valiantly was crumpled on the cold, dirt covered road. The sides quickly scampered to Virgil’s side, doing the best they could to care for him. After all, he had just risked his life saving theirs, so the least they could do was treat the damage it had done. Patton found himself fussing at every little bruise and mark on Virgil’s skin, working to ease the pain and stop the bleeding. Despite his efforts, however, the anxious side did not wake up from his comatose state.

 

    “Kiddo…? Please, wake up… I-I… I don’t want to lose you!” Patton let out a sob as his powers failed him. Usually the light that pulsed from his fingertips could save a life! Unless, of course, the being he was trying to heal was just too far gone…

 

    But Patton didn’t want to think about that, so he pushed the thought from his mind, choosing to instead focus on conjuring his regenerating magic. Behind him, Logan paced between the lines marking the lanes. Roman watched on as Patton tried to summon his abilities. 

 

    “Patton?” Patton looked up as Logan addressed him. “We need to call an ambulance. Your powers can’t do enough. He’s too weak.. We have no other options.. I’m sorry.”

 

   Patton nodded and shakily took Logan’s hand, pulling him next to the fatherly trait. Patton buried his face into Logan’s shirt and cried. His whole body quaked as the logical side wrapped his arms protectively around him. Together, they cried on one another’s shoulder, comforted by each other’s warmth. Roman simply stared at the two sides, before his gaze was torn back to the side lying limp on the ground. 

 

    “R-Roman.. Call an ambulance…” Logan softly whispered, running his hand through Patton’s hair comfortingly, trying not to upset him more. Roman nodded, picked up his phone, and quickly dialed the number. While he talked to the operator, he walked towards the others and sat opposite to Logan and Patton, leaning over Virgil. 

 

     “Virgil… I-I’m so sorry I couldn’t help.. I promise I’ll keep you safe from now on…” Roman softly brushed his hand against Virgil’s very thin shape. He hadn’t noticed how small and frail he had gotten! Roman wished he could be that thin… But he pushed that thought away as he focused on Virgil’s pale, beautiful face. Roman loved that face, and the rest of the anxious side, no matter how much he slighted him. Now all he had to do was prove it..

 

   Soon the ambulance came, and the nurses carried Virgil into the back. Since they didn’t have a vehicle to drive themselves to the hospital, the rest of the sides hopped into the ambulance and rode along with them, while Virgil was getting the urgent care he needed. The others anxiously chattered, trying to avoid looking at the broken side lying in the bed, who was barely breathing. Logan was gripping Patton’s shaky hand tightly, while Patton cried into his shoulder. Roman gazed at the other sides as they slowly rode to the hospital, wishing upon every star that Virgil would be alright.

 

   When they got to the hospital, the darker side was immediately escorted to a small room, while the others waited nervously in the lobby. Inside the room in the ER was a bunch of huge machines and plugs, which all were connected to Virgil’s thin frame. The anxious side had still not regained consciousness after all of the tests, x rays, body checks, and other examinations were done. Now the sides were all sitting around Virgil’s bed, crying and worrying about their friend. Logan stared intently at the heart rate monitor as it tracked the last ounces of life in Virgil’s pale body. Patton caught Logan’s gaze, and shakily turned to the doctor fussing over Virgil.

 

“He’ll be o-okay… right?” 

 

   All of the sides turned their gazes to the doctor, hoping for some kind of sign that their companion would be alright. The doctor just looked back sadly.

 

“I’m sorry…. I’m not sure he’s going to make it..”

  
  
  
  



	8. The Aftershock

When Roman heard this, his whole world collapsed. The others seemed to be just as strongly affected, for tears bloomed in their eyes once more, and they held each other closely.  _ He can’t die! I need him!  _ Roman thought, a small whimper escaping his lips. 

 

  “There must be  _ something  _ we can do…” Logan looked up at the doctor hopefully, but he simply shook his head. 

 

  “I’m sorry. The only thing we can do is hope..” With that, the doctor turned and slowly walked out of the room. Patton weakly stood, and shuffled over to Virgil. He softly whispered in the darker trait’s ear, just like Roman had earlier.

 

“Kiddo, I swear, we will help you get better. I know you probably can’t hear me, but  _ please _ … stay strong. We love you..”

    Logan walked over to where the moral side was standing, and gently placed a hand on his quivering shoulders. Roman hung back, not wanting to see the broken trait any more than he had to, for fear of breaking down. “Someone has to stay with him here. I’ll be damned if he’s all alone, and I’ve already made one too many mistakes today.” Roman looked up at the standing sides who had turned to face him. Logan nodded.

 

  “Okay, Roman.. We’ll be just a phone call away if you need our assistance..” Patton looked somberly at his son, and hesitantly walked out of the room, Logan by his side. With them gone, Roman shambled up to his dark prince, gazing softly at his sickly pale face. He sighed.

 

   “Virgil.. I’m so,  _ so _ sorry I couldn’t be there for you… When you wake up… if you wake up…. I promise to protect you with my life. I love you too much to lose you… Please… just-” His voice cracked with grief. “Just…  _ please. _ .. wake up…” Roman closed his eyes, salty tears sliding off of his face. He sobbed, and buried his head into Virgil’s heaving chest. 

 

     Roman stayed there, crying, for what seemed like hours until he grew weary, and fell into sleep, exhausted from the grief and excitement of the day. For a long time, neither of them moved. Roman’s sleep was restless, for he kept waking up to the loud beeps of the heart rate monitor. How could he sleep properly when his true love could die at any second? Eventually, however, he was awoken a final time by the sensation of movement below him.

 

  “Virgil…?” Roman blinked in surprise. 

 

   Virgil’s eyelids fluttered open, dark chocolate colored eyes melting the prince’s heart as he gazed at him. Even though he was so sickly, so broken, he was still beautiful to Roman. The anxious side lifted a hand and gently brushed Roman’s cheek.

 

“Roman… I love you.. I could never leave you…”

 

    Roman smiled weakly as he leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss onto Virgil’s forehead. “Just.. try to get some rest, sweetheart..” The words settled into Virgil’s heart as he drifted slowly into slumber. Comforted by the knowledge that his dark prince was okay, Roman allowed himself to relax. His heart beat steadily in his chest, matching the slow, stable pace of Virgil’s. Soon, he was asleep as well, gently holding his lover’s hand as they se dreamed.

—————————————————

 

   On the ride home, Logan and Patton had stayed completely silent. They shared somber expressions as one of the hospital staff members drove them home, due to their lack of Patton’s car. They would have to get that fixed later, but that wasn’t important to them. The only thing that mattered was that their friend was in the hospital, and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

 

  When they walked through the door, Patton refused to look Logan in the eye. He swiftly ran off to his room, slammed the door, and sank to the ground. He buried his head in his forearms and sobbed. He stared at his arms, anger towards the nightmare burning beneath his skin. He let out a soft growl, imagining his bare arms were the beast that had the  _ nerve _ to send his son to the hospital. He summoned a knife, and with one swift slash, he had sliced the tender skin. 

 

    He shrieked in pain and clutched his arm, drawing Logan’s attention. The only thing Patton could feel was the warm blood flowing out of his wrist, and the throbbing pain as Logan rushed into the room, swinging the door open. Before he knew it, Logan had started to bandage the wound, pressing gauze into the slashed skin. He stayed silent, focusing on treating it, but Patton could tell that Logan was scared and upset. 

 

“Patton…. Why?..” Logan whispered to the moral side when he was done wrapping his arm. “W-why did you do this…?”

 

Patton lowered his head, ashamed of what he had done. 

 

“I deserved it…” Patton muttered.

 

  Without a second thought, the logical side threw his arms around him. Patton started to sob again, along with Logan, and they continued to cry together. They had both gone through so much that day, and they just couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. Patton tightly wrapped his arms around the side embracing him, and buried his head in the nape of Logan’s neck.

 

   “Patton… I love you.. I always have and I always will” He paused to take a deep breath, trying to stop his voice from shaking. “I-I… I could never live without you…”

 

Patton hummed in response, and softly muttered to the logical side.

 

“I love you too..”

 

  Together, they stayed in Patton’s room, sitting on his bed. They continued to cuddle for the rest of the night, until they both settled into sleep. They kept embracing each other while whispering small declarations of love all through the night, more comfortable than either of them had been in a long time. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought I was gonna let Virgil die didn’t you?
> 
> Heh
> 
> Anyways, hope you liked this chapter, and I hope I didn’t make anyone too upset by the last one!
> 
> Stay safe kiddos
> 
> -Sass


	9. Memories

Virgil’s sleep was interrupted by the intrusive thoughts that has plagued his life since as long as he could remember. He could barely recall a time where he didn’t have these night terrors, these awful memories, or these overpowering sense of fear. He simply wished that things could go back to before the time where  _ he  _ controlled Virgil. But this night was not the time that would happen.

 

_ “Virgeyyyy….” _

 

   The voice that Virgil had tried so hard to forget taunted him, a manipulative and menacing tone sliding out of his throat like honey.

 

_ “Virgey… I’m hungry… For YOU….” _

 

   Tears leaked out of Virgil’s closed eyes as he trembled, feeling as if the snake like figure was touching him all over again. Virgil tensed as his captor laughed coldly in his ear as the anxious side shook.

 

“ _ Virgil…” _

 

 Virgil started to cry and shake more harshly as he felt a hand touching his shoulder.  _ No.. NO! _

 

“Virgil? Are you okay?” 

 

    Virgil sprang up when he heard a different voice beckoning him. He looked up, eyes teary, and gazed at a very concerned looking Roman. Virgil glanced around the room, searching for any sign of the figure that haunted his sleep. He found nothing.

 

“Virgil... what happened?”

 

  Virgil tried to search for words as the prince searched his eyes, looking for a trace of something that could help him calm the trait. After a couple seconds of hesitation, Virgil spoke, quiet and shaky from crying.

 

“I.. Uh.. H-had a nightmare…” Virgil winced as he spoke, knowing that it was much more than a simple bad dream. He looked up at Roman, wondering if he should tell him..

 

_ Maybe.. He could help..? _

 

__ Roman nodded, trying not to press for information. He lightly hovered his hand over Virgil’s shoulder, unsure of if the darker side would accept the touch. Virgil slightly flinched away, then leaned into Roman’s comforting hand. This surprised even himself.

 

  “Uh.. Do you want to.. Talk about it..?” Roman awkwardly pursued. He didn’t want to make Virgil uncomfortable, but he wanted nothing more than to help him. Virgil remained silent for a second, then nodded.

 

“I-I… Had a nightmare…” Virgil hesitated, unsure of if he should continue. “About…” He took a shaky breath.

 

“D-Deceit…”

  
  
  


  Roman’s eyes widened as Virgil buried his head in the prince’s sash, sobbing his eyes out. His heart burned with hatred towards that.. That..  _ snake _ , as he brushed a hand through his hair, trying to comfort the shivering side. 

 

    “Oh.. Virgil..” Roman wrapped his arms gently around Virgil as the anxious trait leaned into the touch. All Roman wanted to do was scoop him up, and comfort him and kiss him as much as it took to make his dark prince feel better. But he just let Virgil cry, getting all of his feelings out, as Roman held the cowering emo.

 

“Roman…” Virgil let out a croaky sob. “Roman… I love y-you.. So m-much…” 

 

  Roman gently pressed a kiss to the side’s forehead, just as he had done earlier, and continued to caress Virgil’s back, rubbing circles onto it. Before either of them knew it, they were asleep again, comforted by the other’s presence.

 

—————————————

 

    In the morning, Virgil awoke to find himself still wrapped in his prince’s embrace. He hummed contentedly and craned his neck to place a kiss on his boyfriend’s chin. Immediately, Roman looked down and smiled gently. 

 

“Morning, dear.. Shall I go get us breakfast?” 

 

“Uh… Yeah.. S-sure! Although.. I-I’m not that hungry, really..” 

 

    Virgil mustered up a weak smile as Roman looked down at him skeptically. Virgil continued to fake his grin until the prince finally nodded, getting up to go fetch them food. 

 

“Alright.. Well, I’ll get you something anyways. Just in case you find your appetite!”

 

    With that, Roman left the room, leaving Virgil in his hospital bed to think.  _ Virgil… You can’t eat what they’re serving. God knows how many calories are in one of those pancakes!  _ Virgil sighed, knowing that his consciousness would win, and didn’t even try to fight the thought.

 

   After a while of waiting and wallowing in fear, he saw Roman’s bright, chipper face poke through the doorway.

 

    “I’m baaaaaaaack~! And I brought pancakes!” The flamboyant prince swaggered over to Virgil, and set the steaming plate of pancakes down beside him on the table. Virgil gazed back at Roman, and attempted a weak, wavering smile. He gently shook his head, ignoring the prince’s concerned look.

 

“No thanks Roman… I-I’m not hungry…”

 

   Virgil’s eyes widened as his stomach growled loudly, completely blowing his cover. Roman frowned at him, and gently brushed his hand against the darker trait’s chin. 

 

   “Virgy..” Virgil winced at the nickname, and Roman immediately corrected himself. “Virgil.. Please….” He paused, heartache shooting through his veins. “E-eat….” 

 

   Virgil softly shook his head, shying away from the delicious looking pancakes. He wanted to eat them so badly, but how could he? He wasn’t perfect enough for his master. Clearly that’s why Deceit did that to him.. Right? Roman looked at him, grief stealing every bit of light from his eyes. The doctor walked in, and Roman took him aside to speak with him.

 

   Virgil sighed as they talked, knowing that Roman was concerned, and was relating his fears to the doctor. He didn’t expect what was to happen next, though…

 

   Roman walked into the room, tears streaming down his face, eyes dull and broken. He looked at Virgil, ambled over to him, and gently took his pale, bony hand. Virgil’s heart dropped as he stared at the usually happy prince. The doctor stood by the door, and called for a cot as Virgil’s anxiety rose.  _ Wait.. What’s happening? _

 

“Ro-Roman…?” Virgil glanced, terrified, at Roman. His heart pounded in his chest as he saw his boyfriend’s somber expression. Roman gently rubbed the darker trait’s shaking hand, trying to think of a way to say what was happening. A team of nurses walked in, pushing a portable hospital bed much like the one he was brought into the ambulance with.

 

“Virgil…” Roman’s voice cracked with grief as he looked at his panicking lover. He didn’t want to do this.. But it was their only choice. “You… you’re going in-into…” He paused as Virgil gazed, broken, at him. This was cruel. Why him? Why do things like this always have to happen to the best people? 

 

“You-you’re…. Going to i-inpatient.. For an..an-” He struggled to say the word.

 

“A-anorexia… you have an eating disorder… I won’t be able to see you again for a m-month…”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
> 
> I promise things will get better! I’m not hurting these precious babies for nothing I swear!
> 
> Anyways, stay safe, stay in school, and don’t do drugs!
> 
> -Sass


	10. Stay Strong

“What did I do  _ wrong _ ..?”

  
  


   Patton’s eyes grazed the ground as he sadly posed the question to his partner.  Hits heart was heavy with the guilt that he had been bearing ever since they got the news. They were getting into the car that Logan had rented to head to the hospital, where they would say their goodbyes to Virgil.

 

    “Patton… I don’t know many things about emotions, but what I do know is that this is most certainly  not your fault. Virgil has been suffering for a very long time… you know this..” Logan looked at the sad trait sympathetically. Patton just turned away, not being able to make eye contact. They drove the rest of the way in silence.

 

   When they got to the hospital, Patton’s mood somehow got even worse. He looked like he barely had any energy to go on, and seemed to be on the verge of crumpling to the floor and breaking down crying.

 

   “Shhh.. It’ll be okay Patton… We’ll get him back, once he’s better. He’s getting the care he needs…” Logan wiped a tear off of Patton’s cheek as his boyfriend practically leapt into his arms. He gently rubbed Patton’s back as he sobbed into the logical trait’s formal shirt.

 

“I love you.. So much Logan.. Please…” He drew in a sharp, pained breath. “Don’t leave me too….” Tears cascaded down his face as Logan gently held his hand.

 

“I won’t.. Now let’s go say goodbye to Virgil…” With that, they headed up the stairs, into the section of the hospital where the ED patients stayed.

 

   As they slowly made their way up the stairs towards where Virgil was going to reside, they heard loud sobbing from one of the rooms. Patton whimpered quietly as he recognized Virgil’s sad, weak voice. Logan tried to steer him away, but Patton’s heart still broke as he heard the sound. Eventually, they found Roman, sitting in one of the rooms, filling out some forms to get Virgil in to the inpatient program. He looked up at the sides in front of him with tears in his eyes.

 

   “Oh.. y-you two are here… I need you to fill out some of these forms… ya know… In case Virgil needs to contact us…” His voice cracked with grief as Patton slowly encased him in a hug, with Logan (to Roman’s surprise) joining in.

 

    After the hug continued for a few minutes, it eventually broke up, with Logan reaching over to sign the forms. Patton followed, and eventually one of the staff members walked back into the room. When she opened the door, Patton, Logan, and Roman tried to ignore the loud wailing coming from the room where Virgil was apparently getting his admission body check. 

 

   Eventually, the sobbing stopped, but there were still bouts of coughing coming from the darker trait, as he was taken into the main area. The other sides came out to say goodbye, and they could barely speak behind the tears coming down their faces like a waterfall.

 

     “Kiddo… I-I’m going to miss you…  _ so much…. _ ” His voice broke as a sob escaped his throat. “Please… just..  _ Keep fighting _ … I know you can do it kiddo….” Patton stepped back, buried his face in his lover’s shirt, and cried his eyes out. Logan looked up from Patton to meet his friend’s pained gaze.

 

“Virgil.. We are truly going to miss your presence.. T-though you’ve never been the most…  _ uplifting… _ . You’re still.. O-one of us….. We love you, Virgil…” He slightly shuffled backwards as Patton leaned into Logan’s protective arms. Roman’s heart ached as he looked at his broken prince. He could barely stand to look at his paper-thin boyfriend as he felt his heart slowly cry out in grief and pain. Eventually, he plucked up the courage to look into his sunken-in, dark chocolate colored eyes.

 

    “Virgil…  _ please _ …. Stay strong… I-I love you  _ so  _ much…. I...I-” His heart shattered as he spoke, the word coming out as a strangled cry of pain and despair.  _ How can someone so beautiful hate themselves so much…?  _ It wasn’t fair.. But now they had to repair the damage done. And this was the only way. He wailed as the phrase left his throat.

 

“I-I.. I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU!!”

   Roman fell to his knees, grief clouding his vision as tears wracked his shoulders. He couldn’t take this anymore. He didn’t want to lose his boyfriend. Not now. Not after all they had been through together. The prince’s violent sobs subsided slowly as he felt a cold, yet comforting body press against him. He could feel warm breath on his shoulder as Virgil’s voice floated in his ear.

 

“Roman… I promise you won’t lose me… I’ll just… Be doing my best to survive… okay? Please…. Don’t cry… I’m sorry I did this to you, but I’ll get better….  _ I promise _ ..” 

 

   Roman whipped around and immediately wrapped his weak, shaky arms around his boyfriend as they cried together. A few staff members and patients walked by, looking at the sides as though they were remembering when they came in. Eventually, Roman brought his eyes up to his dark prince’s eyeshadow-streaked face, and placed a wavering hand on his cheek. “Be strong… I know you can… I love you.. But we have to go now…” Roman whispered. He brought himself and Virgil to a stand, gave Virgil one more tight hug, and took a pace backwards, eyes meeting Patton’s to usher him to speak.

 

“Kiddo… I’ll be thinking, and praying about you all the time.. You can get through this… We’re here for you..” Patton hugged Virgil, squeezed his shoulders, and managed a small, sad smile. 

“... I’m rooting for ya..”

 

  Lastly, Logan stepped forwards, and awkwardly met Virgil’s gaze. Grief and misery flared up in the logical trait’s chest, but he shoved it aside, not wanting to find himself crying. He looked up at Virgil, realizing he had been staring at his feet. He opened his mouth to speak, hesitated, and continued, unsure of how his words would sound.

 

   “Virgil. We are really going to miss you around the house…” Logan winced as he realized how staticy his tone was. “Just… please… do your best.. That’s all we can possibly hope for. Do your best, get better, and…” His voice cracked. “Come  _ home.”  _

 

  Virgil’s gaze hit the floor as the other sides looked at him. He felt guilty. Shameful. Why did he have to always ruin their good feelings? First the nightmare, and now this? And speaking of the nightmares, who was going to fight them off while he was lying weak in a hospital? Virgil just didn’t know. The thought of not knowing just made the anxious side.. Well..  _ more  _ anxious. He pushed that aside, however, and found his voice to address his family.

 

    “I-I’m going to miss you guys too… I’m sorry this had to happen.. But I promise I’ll get better.. Or at least-.. Try to…” He managed a small smile despite his tears. His family was just too kind.. Virgil almost felt guilty. But he knew that’s not what his family wanted to make him feel, so he ignored the thought edging it’s way into his brain.

 

    “We love you kiddo.. We’ll visit every Sunday, and send postcards, and come to family sessions, and spend every waking hour helping you to feel better if we can help it. And oh! We’ll get you some new cool stuff for your room, and-!” Patton’s never-ending stream of words was cut short by a small bark of laughter from Virgil. His dad was simply too adorable not to laugh, no matter what awful situation they were in.

 

   It gave him hope for the future. Maybe, just maybe, things would be okay. Maybe he would recover. Maybe it will all be over soon, and he’ll be able to see Roman, and the rest of his family sooner than later. He held on to this hope as he watched his friends leave after many hugs and reassurances. 

 

    Virgil was left standing there, in the middle of the main room, wearing a hospital gown while his clothes got checked, and with busy patients bustling around him who were learning new things in groups, laughing, and dealing with similar hardships as he was. The fact that he wasn’t alone comforted him as he faced the most difficult thing in his life so far.

 

   He smiled, despite himself, knowing that he was lucky to have an amazing family like he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy oh boy
> 
> That was a fun one to write.
> 
> Sorry if my schedule doesn’t stay consistent, as some of you know I’ve been dealing with a lot lately, and have had some issues with motivation. Anyways, I hope you liked this break from the super heavy angst, and you don’t hate me too much for what I’ve done to Virgil.
> 
> Anyways, stay safe everyone, and stay strong!
> 
> -Sass


	11. Support

Virgil wasn’t the only one who needed help with his emotions. Logan, who normally stayed stone cold, was shaken up as well.

 

“Logey, are you okay?”

  Patton’s voice was laced with concern as he looked at his boyfriend. He could tell Logan was upset, due to the fact that he was fidgeting heavily and his eyes were darting around the room. The moral trait gently placed a hand on Logan’s tense shoulder, trying to comfort him. Logan flinched at the touch, and blinked at Patton, confused.

 

  “What did you say, Patton?” Logan looked down, embarrassed that he had zoned out from reality so easily. Patton’s gaze became even more worried as his boyfriend glanced away from him, clearly worried about  _ something _ .

 

   “Hold on, Patt.. I h-have to do something..” Logan leapt off of the couch the two were sitting on, and walked over to the swirly painting on the wall. He inspected it for a couple of seconds, growing more and more aggravated, and growled slightly as he discovered that it was tilted ever so slightly. He quickly turned it upright, and slowly meandered back to Patton, who was staring at him and knitting his eyebrows in concern.

 

“Logan…?”

 

  Patton repositioned his hand on Logan’s back as the logical trait put his head in his shaky hands. He gripped at his hair as tears slowly slid down his face. He drew in a pained breath as he cried. Patton wrapped his arms around the usually stone-cold trait as he sobbed. He didn’t know why his boyfriend was crying, but his instincts told him to comfort the upset side. 

 

“Logan..? Shhh… It’s okay… It’ll be okay…” Patton’s voice quivered as he said this. He hated seeing his family being hurt like this. First Virgil, and now Logan? It just wasn’t fair. Patton pulled Logan closer into a hug, running his fingers through Logan’s dyed purple hair. 

 

“I-i’m sorry… I-I shouldn’t be c-crying..” Logan wiped away his tears with his wrist, his eyes red and puffy.

 

   “No.. no, that isn’t t-true!” Patton immediately reassured Logan, a wave of guilt hitting him. It was him that had told Logan that he couldn’t feel anything! Why did he have to get so upset before..

 

  His negative thoughts were quickly cut of by a loud sob from Logan. Patton, now also crying, gently cupped his cheek, tilting his head to meet his gaze. Logan’s eyes were filled with tears, his nose was running, and he was just generally a mess. Despite this, Patton gently brought his lips to meet his boyfriends. Logan leaned into the soft kiss, and smiled, despite the tears still cascading down his face.

 

“I-I love you P-Patton..” Logan murmured after he broke away from the kiss. Patton gently smiled at the logical trait and quickly pressed his lips to Logan’s forehead. 

 

“I love you too, Logey..”

—————————————————

  
  
  


_ Why Roman? Why couldn’t you be better? Why didn’t you stop him?  _

 

  These thoughts ran through Roman’s head as he thought about his dark prince, who was now in the hospital for a similar disorder as Roman. Surely Roman would’ve noticed, right? After all, they shared so many symptoms…

 

  Roman sat on the side of his bed, tears flowing from his eyes. He was sick of crying, but he could not stop the salty droplets rolled down his face no matter how hard he tried. He buried his head in his palms and sobbed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to feel his boyfriend next to him for god knows how long.

 

  Roman continued to cry for about 30 minutes when he heard a soft knock on the door. A small, concerned voice came through the door as Roman hid himself further into the covers on his bed.

 

“Kiddo? Are you alright? I heard crying..” 

 

_ Patton. _

 

  Roman didn’t want to open the door, but how could he ever ignore Patton? All he wanted to do was help, and oh did Roman want it, but he was still unable to open the door. Patton knocked on the door a final time, and took the silence from the other side as an invitation to come in. His eyes widened as he saw Roman concealing his face. 

 

“Kiddo..?”

 

 Roman looked up at the fatherly trait, and stared at him, tears rimming his eyes. He jumped back slightly as Patton reached a hand out to him, but reluctantly took it. Patton pulled Roman into a tight hug, and brushed his hand comfortingly through his soft hair. Roman tried to speak, but was stopped by a gentle shush from Patton.

 

“Shhh.. I know.. I know.. It’s hard.. But he’ll be back..” Patton paused. “I promise… It’ll be okay..” 

 

  Roman closed his eyes as Patton rubbed his back softly. Roman felt another person join in the hug, and opened his eyes. He stared in surprise as he saw Logan, who’s eyes were red.  _ Was he… crying? _

 

  Roman pushed away the thought, and focused on the other side’s comforting touches. He smiled at the warmth of his companions, and for once, he felt hopeful about the future. 

 

  He didn’t know if Virgil was going to be okay. He didn’t know if he would ever recover. He didn’t know how soon he would come home. All he knew, was that he had some pretty damn good friends.

 

And as long as they stayed together, they could get through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy
> 
> Sorry if this is short and took a very long time to get out there, I’ve been dealing with a really bad case of writers block.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways, hope ya liked this fluff-fest! 
> 
> Because trust me, this fluff does not last forever.. ;)
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> -Sass


	12. New Friends

Tears welled in Virgil’s eyes as the realization hit him.

 

_ I won’t be able to see them again for such a long time… why did this have to happen to me..? _

 

   The darker trait collapsed to the ground and sobbed into his hoodie sleeves.  _ I don’t want to be here. Why did my friends have to leave me here? _ His breath started to shake as the thoughts zipped through his mind. He suddenly felt a hand on his back, and he whipped around, looking the person who had made contact with him straight in the eye. Virgil leant away, crying harder, and tried to get up to run. The person quickly brought their hand away, apologizing immediately.

 

    “Oh, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have touched you.” The figure wiped his hair from his face, clearly nervous. Virgil warily eyed him, observing hus actions. The way he slightly fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, the way he talked with such caution, and how he just barely leaned towards the emo side, trying to show friendliness. 

 

   He must’ve been around Virgil’s age. He was a young adult, with the same dark, coffee colored eyes as Virgil. He wore sunglasses, and wore a brown jacket covering a white T-shirt that said “Sleep”. He had pink fingernails, and dyed purple hair like Virgil. The man smiled at Virgil slightly, and then held out a hand, forgetting his earlier hesitance.

 

“Mind if I help you up?” 

 

  Virgil slightly nodded, still anxious. He took the man’s hand, pulling himself up and brushing the dust away from his hoodie.

 

“REMINGTON! STOP TOUCHING THE NEW CLIENT!”

 

   Virgil flinched as the staff member loudly corrected the man… Remington? The man rolled his eyes.

 

“It’s  _ Remy _ …” He mumbled. “Hey, what’s your name dude?”

  
  


“Uh- My name is V-Virgil..!” Virgil winced as his voice cracked embarrassingly from crying.

“Sooo, Virgil, what’re ya in here for?” Remy asked, pulling down his sunglasses to reveal his eyes. Virgil tilted his head in confusion.  _ Isn’t it obvious..? Isn’t there only the ED program? _

 

  Remy noticed Virgil’s confusion and clarified. “There are two programs in this unit, which is unit 2 East. The Eating Disorder program, and the Self Injury Disorder program. I, personally, am in the Self Injury program. So, now that that’s out of the way, which one are you in..?” 

 

 Virgil stared at Remy a few seconds longer before responding. “Uh- The eating d-disorder program.. I think..”

 

“You think?” Remy looked at him, making Virgil shy away slightly.

 

After a long stretch of silence, Remy smiled. 

 

“Alright, well, It’s almost time for dinner. I’ll introduce you to the rest of the group. I’m sure they’ll like you! Not to mention our therapist, Dr. Emile Picani. He’s super nice!” 

 

   Remy grabbed Virgil’s hand, got yelled at, and led Virgil to the rest of the clients, who were inside a small room with glass  wall, which were covered in positive quotes. Virgil sighed and anxiously fiddled with his hoodie. He mumbled under his breath.

 

“I hope so…”

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

    When they got into the room, all eyes were immediately on the emo side. Some of the gazes were skeptical, while others were just staring at him with curiosity. Some were just pitying. No matter what kind of look they gave Virgil, he was still  _ incrediblly  _ uncomfortable with the attention.

 

“Heyyyy ladies!” Remy swaggered into the room, smiling as he spoke. “This is the new client, Virgil!”

 

Virgil shuffled uncomfortably. “Uh.. H-hi!” Virgil waved slightly as the others’ gazes turned back to him. After a short pause, one girl, who appeared to be around 14 years old, spoke.

 

“Hi. I’m Jennifer, but you can just call me Jen.” 

 

   Jen was wearing a big, red hoodie, and had crimson plaid pajama pants on. She had dark hair, very tan skin, and hazel eyes. Virgil straightened his back, trying not to show weakness. 

 

“Uh. Hi! N-nice to meet you, J-Jen…” 

 

    Another man stood up, and almost fell over. He looked tired. He introduced himself as Patrick, and rested his head on his arms again as one of the staff members tried to get them to eat their food. Virgil stared at him sympathetically, until his attention was torn away by other members greeting him.

 

  His mind swam with names. _ Remy, Jen, Patrick, Anna, Jake, Mary, Emily… _ How was he ever supposed to memorize all that?He shook his head, and looked back up at Remy, straightening his back slightly as he sat down. He talked to his new acquaintances for a couple of minutes before an older man, who had been talking with the kids, cleared his throat.

 

    “Alrighty gang! I assume you guys have already met our new friend, Virgil, but I’m sure you haven’t gotten to know him very well yet! So let’s start off by saying our all-time favorite cartoon character!” 

 

   The man smiled brightly, looking around the room with round, excited eyes, while ignoring the groans from the patients who had been through his madness many times before. Remy looked at the man, and gestured to Virgil.

 

“Uh, Emilei? You haven’t exactly introduced yourself to our newest member yet!” 

 

“Oh! Well why didn’t ya say so? I’m Doctor Emile Picani, but you can just call me Emile!”

 

   Virgil smiled weakly at Emile, admiring how happy he was. He inspected the man’s attire, looking at his pink hair, tan cardigan, and salmon-colored tie. He knew he would like this therapist, unlike all of them before him. He just had that kind of effect. That happiness. That happiness that Virgil wanted to feel so badly.

 

   Despite the grave thoughts that creeped into his mind, he smirked as everyone around the room said their favorites. When he said his, which was Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe, he was not judged for it, unlike he expected. He smiled as Emile looked at him with encouragement. The encouragement that he so desperately needed. 

 

He knew he would survive in this place. It would take some getting used to, but with new friends and a family like his, Virgil could do anything.

  
  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all liked this chapter! I did my best ;)
> 
> As always, stay safe!
> 
> -Sass


	13. Stresses and Messes

Patton stared at the door in front of him anxiously. He took a step forwards and heard the vigorous clacking of Logan’s keyboard. Patton wanted to run into the room and hurtle himself at Logan in a hug, and comfort him enough to let him slumber, due to the fact that it was four AM. Patton slowly extended an arm to knock on Logan’s door, and waitied for the logical side’s response. 

 

   Logan barely glanced up as Patton opened the door a crack, and pushed it open to enter the room. Patton blinked as he gazed around the room, concerned. Books were thrown everywhere, pillows were on the floor, thinks were knocked off of shelves, and Logan’s desk was covered in notes open books, and crumpled pieces of paper. Immediatly Patton knew something was wrong, for Logan wasn’t usually this messy. Especially at such an early hour.

 

    Logan was staring with bloodshot eyes at an informational blog about eating disorders as he frantically typed emails to as many health professionals as he possibly could. Patton slowly approached his tired, dishevaled looking boyfriend, and laid a hand on his tense shoulder.

 

    Immediately Logan jumped, spilled his coffee on himself. He winced and flinched back from the hot liquid, but it was too late. He was already covered.

 

    “Sorry Lo! I didn’t mean to startle you!” Patton said, looking for something to wipe off Logan’s shirt. He settled on his old cardigan, which he used as pajamas now. Logan grunted and rested his head on Patton’s hand, too exhausted to speak.

 

“What are you up to?” Patton glanced at Logan’s screen, eyes widening as he saw the website he was on.

 

“This whole thing is really working you up, huh?..” Patton whispered. Logan nodded.

 

   “Yeah.. I-I just want to help him… I want to know how I can help. I want to know more. I don’t want to be confused and scared anymore.. I just don’t want to not  _ know… _ ”

 

  Patton nodded understandingly, and hugged Logan from behind. “You should get some rest, Lo.. It’s been a rough couple of days, so sleep is more important than ever. You know this..”   
Patton said softly.

 

Logan groaned and rubbed his eyes. “But how can I sleep when there’s so much to do?” Patton looked at him and smiled faintly.

 

“We can keep doing research in the morning. For now, let’s focus on getting your energy up a bit.”

 

   Logan groaned again and complained as Patton pressed a light kiss to his neck. “But I have coffeeeee….”

 

Patton chuckled lightly at how obnoxious his boyfriend was, who was clearly tired out of his mind.

 

“Come on, lets get you to bed.”

 

   Before Logan could complain, Patton tugged his arm, dragging him to his bed. Too tired to protest, Logan obediently followed as Patton led him to the place Logan desperately needed to go. Patton smiled as Logan suddenly moved forwards and flopped onto his bed, taking Patton down with him. 

 

  Patton chuckled lightly and placed a soft kiss on Logan’s nose. 

 

“I love you, Lo, my adorable little muffin~!” Patton whispered in Logan’s ear, hugging him from behind again.

 

     Logan mumbled and turned over to look into Patton’s eyes. He snuggled up to Patton’s chest, trying to get as close as possible to Patton’s warmth.

 

“Love you too…” Logan muttered, half asleep.

 

      Patton giggled as he watched Logan move closer, too tired to notice what he was doing. Patton brushed Logan’s hair away from his eyes and delicately removes his glasses for him. Logan mumbled a quick “Thanks” and closed his eyes, Patton mimicking soon after.

 

     Barely a thought of his broken son passed through his head as he focused all of his attention on the exhausted side’s presence beside him. He sighed and closed his tired eyes, comforted by Logan’s body snuggled up against him.

 

—————————————

 

         Roman paced his room as intrusive thoughts of his dark lover passed through his mind. He didn’t want to think about him right now, but still the feelings came back to haunt him.

 

_ Hopefully this paving makes up for all of the calories I consumed  today.. _

 

     Roman quickly shook his head and scolded himself for thinking that way while his boyfriend was in the hospital for a similar condition.

 

_ Why can’t I show my feelings to anyone? Not even Patton.. _

 

    Roman sat down hard on his bed and buried his head in his forearms, wiping away tears. 

 

_      I have to be strong… I can’t take this act away. I must be strong… for Virgil.. I can’t let the mask come off… _

 

    Roman looked up at the moon and sighed, thinking immediately of how much Virgil would love this weather. Instantly he missed Virgil even more than before. He wishes he noticed Virgil’s struggles sooner. After all, he was dealing with a similar thing..

 

_ Why didn’t you notice? You didn’t even notice how much Deceit was hurting him.. all you did was continue to slight Virgil. You probably caused him to have this eating disorder. And what if you take off the mask if strength? What if you showed him who you really are? _

 

__ Roman sighed again, a victim to his own thoughts. His mind crashed around his skull, intrusive thoughts of his boyfriend and Roman’s little “act” racing around his brain.

 

_     You can’t take off this mask. They will hate you. You shouldn’t be afraid. You’ve gotten good at pretending you’re fine. And strong. And powerful. But you’re not. And this is the only intermission you’ll ever get. When you’re alone, and nobody can see you. _

 

_  You’ve gotten good at this game of pretend. You’ve gotten good at acting  and never losing character. Not even around Virgil. You’ve gotten good at lying.. _

__

_ And if acting is truly no more than lying… _

 

_ I am playing my part... _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m backkkkkk
> 
> Sorry I took so long, there has been a lot of stuff going on in my life, and a lot of things causing me distress.
> 
> Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> -Sass


	14. Getting Used To New Things

Virgil lifted his head slightly has he heard the door open more than it already was. He was barely able to recall the night before, he was so tired. Of course, he hadn’t gotten much sleep, despite his exhaustion. It’s just how Virgil’s mind worked. It didn’t shut up until the next morning.

 

       As Virgil slowly got used to the brightness coming from behind the door, he noticed a doctor, who he had already forgotten the name of, coming closer to him with a..  _ machine  _ of some sort. He looked confusedly over to Remy, who was barely just starting to wake up. He turned over to look at the anxious side and blinked.

 

   “Oh.. This? They do this every morning. They have to check our ‘vital signs’ to make sure everything’s running properly. Of course, you’re in the eating disorder program, so I’m assuming quite a few things are out of whack.” Remy snorted as he was scolded by the nurse, who had gotten closer to Virgil.

 

     The nurse directed him to lift his arm, and she wrapped a plastic thing around Virgil’s arm, connecting him to the machine. She took out a thermometer and told him to put it under his tongue, which Virgil did obediently. After about a minute, he was instructed to stand, where the nurse repeated the process. When she was finished with the anxious side, she moved on to Remy, where the procedure happened  _ again. _

 

    Virgil sat up, watching intently as the nurse worked. It was intriguing, how much Remy knew about this place. He wondered how long he’d been there, but he wouldn’t dare ask. He would just have to deal with not knowing until Remy told him.  _ If  _ Remy trusted him enough...

 

     The second the nurse took the wrap off, Remy flopped back into his bed, pulling the single thin blanket over his tousled hair. Virgil tilted his head slightly as he heard the man mutter something about his “beauty sleep”. A few seconds later, after tossing and turning on his uncomfortable bed, Remy kicked off his blankets and groaned.

 

    “I’ve been here for five months and I still haven’t found a way to get used to this awful bed..” He muttered.

 

Virgil’s eyes widened. “You’ve been here for  _ five months _ ?!”   
  
“Yep.” Remy replied, barely batting an eye. He was used to the shock. He half expected Virgil to run away, out of fear that he would “catch the illness” like the other clients before him were.

 

  Instead, Virgil just blinked at him. Surprised, but not judgemental. He just wanted him to get better, even if they had just met.

 

   They sat in silence for a little while, until Remy got up and grabbed some clothes off of his dresser. He briskly walked into the bathroom to change, and Virgil waited for him to come back out. Until then, he just spent time with his own polluted train of thought. 

 

_ Five months? Is that how long I’ll be here? _

 

Tears welled in Virgil’s eyes.

 

_ Five months until I can see them again..? Roman? Patton? Logan?..  _

 

   Virgil was just about to start hyperventilating, when Remy walked out of the bathroom, wearing his usual jacket and T shirt. He nodded to Virgil, gestured to the door, and said, “All yours.” 

 

    Thankful, Virgil nodded back, picking up his own garments and swiftly made his way towards the door to change. A couple of minutes passed in silence as he put on his new clothing, Remy waiting outside. 

 

  When he walked out, Remy looked at him, noticing the tears in his new companion’s eyes. He knew how hard losing his family was. After all, he’d been here for five months, and lost his parents even before this..

 

   He looked at Virgil sympathetically, wanting to comfort him, but not knowing how. Luckily for him, they both heard the door being swung open excitedly. They turned their heads quickly to look at who had come in, and let their anxiety ease as they saw the bright, chipper face of Emile Picani. 

 

“Alright you two! It’s time for breakfastttt!” He sang, grinning madly at the pair. Remy grumbled quietly as he pushed his way through the door frame before turning back to look at Virgil.

 

“You coming?” Remy smirked.

 

 Virgil quickly stumbled up, dizzy at the sudden movement. He braced against the wall, pushing his shoulder against it. He looked up at Emile, frowning and grunting with the effort of staying standing. Emile looked at him and reached out a hand.

 

“Need some help?” Emile offered, thrusting his hand out further, allowing Virgil to take it if he wished to.

 

    Virgil smiled weakly and took Emile’s hand, letting him help Virgil walk towards the door. Remy waited just outside the door frame, making sure his new friend was safe. Virgil slowly regained his balance, and barely leaned against Emile. Grateful for the support, Virgil smiled politely. They made their way over to the main room, and steadily found chairs for them to sit in. 

 

   Virgil lowered himself into a chair, watching as Remy did the same, finding a place across from him. Dr. Picani bounded over to a huge cart of food, and began serving the trays to the clients, along with other staff. Virgil leaned back as Emile gently placed a tray in front of him, carefully reaching an arm across him to give Remy his as well. 

 

    Virgil picked up a fork and lightly poked the egg that was given to him. He looked up at Remy, who had already began shoveling bacon into his mouth. Remy was about to put another fork-full in his face when he paused. 

 

“Ya know, you kinda have to eat it, right?”

 

“What?” Virgil cocked his head, confused.

 

“Yeah… You’ll have to get supplemented if you don’t. At least, that’s my understanding of it..” Remy’s gaze passed over the crowd, and settled on a kid who was refusing to eat. They had what looked like..  _ tubes _ coming from their nose. “Or worse.. You could get  _ tube fed _ …”   
  
 Remy looked at Virgil again. “Of course, you won’t have a problem with that if you’re compliant. It’s not like I’m the expert on it or anything.. I’m just a bystander.”

 

    “O-okay..” Virgil said, fidgeting with his hoodie sleeves. He slowly picked up his fork, shoveled up the food, closed his eyes tightly, and put the food in his mouth. He slowly chewed, hating the feeling in this mouth. He felt like a failure for eating, but all he wanted to do was get back to his family. 

 

And if this was the way to do it, he would go through with this.

 

\---------------------------------

 

  AFter breakfast, there was a group where, from what Remy told him, they were to learn “coping skills” to use instead of eating disorder behaviors or self harm. Everyone seemed to be absolutely hating it, which Virgil couldn’t blame them for. After all, it was quite boring. However, Virgil found it intriguing how these things could be considered “easy”. At least, that’s how Emile made it seem. It sounded simple enough, but it was just so difficult to fathom. Virgil couldn’t see any stopping to his behaviors.

 

“So everyone! I know by now that quite a few of you have had some problems with dealing with your emotions. So now, since it is the end of group, I’d like to challenge you with coming up with one coping skill that you like to use!” Emile smiled around the room, ignoring all of the groans and snorts of contempt.

 

 The girl who had first talked to Virgil, Jennifer, was the first one to speak. 

 

“I like to draw! It makes me feel better!” She stood up, wanting to be praised by Emile. Remy snorted with amusement at the spunky girl. Emile shot Remy a short look before turning to Jennifer and saying,” Good job, Jennifer! That is definitely a good form of the skill ‘Distract’!”

 

   The rest if the room went around saying things like, “petting my dog”, or “Drinking Starbucks” (that one was Remy’s). When the last person went, Virgil tensed up, knowing that it was his turn. Anxiety gripped his chest, and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. 

 

_ Breathe.. Breathe.. Come on… BREATHE. _

 

   Virgil tried to focus on letting his lungs expand, and he took short, shallow breaths in. As he felt his chest heave once more, he attempted to deepen the breath. He closed his eyes, and felt the weight on his chest ease up. When he opened his eyes again, he saw the whole room staring at him.

 

   He shrunk down slightly as he felt everyone’s gazes on him. Emile smiled lightly at him, and said, “That’s good, Virgil. Feeling any better?”

 

Virgil nodded, still too anxious to speak.

 

     “That, right there, is a great example of our ‘deep breathing’ skill. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds, and breathe out for 8. That was amazing how you did that without even knowing it, Virgil!”

 

Virgil smiled slightly as he felt the anxiety lessen enough for him to speak. 

 

“T-thank you..”

 

   With that, Emile dismissed the group, and started to prepare for the next group, which Virgil knew he would love immediately.

 

_ Music therapy _ ..

 

  
  


  
  



	15. Seeing Friends

Today was visiting day.

 

   The three sides back at home were anxiously waiting until it was time to go to the hospital. They had been thinking about going and seeing Virgil all day, and they couldn’t wait any longer to see their friend again. But they were also nervous. 

 

   The last time that any of the sides had seen their anxious friend was when they were all breaking down in the lobby of the place where he had gone to inpatient. They were all a mess, and had no idea what to say to each other, because they wanted to say they understood what Virgil was going through, but they just didn’t.

 

     However, now they were prepared. Logan has been doing research about eating disorders, Roman was toning down the insults, and Patton had been preparing games to play to make them all feel better.

 

  Still, when it was time to leave their house, all three of the remaining sides tensed up, afraid of the state they would see their friend in, and knowing that they would never fully understand what went on in Virgil’s brain. Except Roman, of course, but even he couldn’t read his broken boyfriend’s mind.

 

“Come on, kiddos, let’s go see Virgil!” Patton said, trying to be cheerful as the other two side’s expressions fell, worried for the visit. Patton grabbed Logan’s hand and gripped it tightly, trying to comfort the logical trait. Logan attempted a small smile, and leaned against Patton’s shoulder.

 

    Roman watched them with a small feeling of jealousy as he realized how much he missed his own boyfriend. He looked down at the ground to try to hide his tears from Patton. Unfortunately for him, his attempts were in vain as Patton realized the look on Roman’s face immediately.

 

      “Hey, hey.. It’s okay Roman.. He’ll be back soon.. We even get to visit him.. Speaking of which, we should probably head over now, so Virgil won’t worry about us being late.” Patton smiled at Roman, and led his friends out the door and into the car. Logan hopped into the driver’s seat, and they headed over to the hospital, where their friend was waiting for them.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

   At the hospital, they headed back up the stairs to the unit Virgil was on, just as they did when their edgy friend was admitted into the program. Logan headed straight up to the front desk to sign them in, while Patton and Roman looked for Virgil. Suddenly, Roman felt someone’s arms wrap around him.

 

“Guess who?” A weak, gentle voice whispered in his ear. Roman smiled as he recognized his boyfriend’s voice immediately.

 

“Hm… I wonder who?” Roman joked as he turned around to face Virgil. Patton giggled lightly and flashed a smile at the friend he had missed dearly as the prince hugged Virgil tightly, not wanting for him to leave again.

 

    By now, Logan had already finished with the sign in process, and was facing the other sides with a small smirk on his face.

 

“Alright, we have an hour to talk together for today, so let’s start. But first, let’s find somewhere comfortable to sit. Virgil, may you lead the way?”   
  
    Virgil laughed lightly at how much Logan was trying to control his happiness to see him again. Without a second thought, Virgil lead his friends to a small group of lounge chairs in the corner, just enough for the four to sit down in. The rest of the people and their families were all milling about, staying far away from each other to offer privacy.

 

“So kiddo, tell us. How’ve you been settling in here?” Patton enquired, curious to hear if his dark strange son had made any friends. 

 

“Fine.. I-I met someone on my first day here.. T-they turned out to be my roommate.. They’ve been h-here for five months..” Virgil replied awkwardly, not knowing how much he was allowed to say. 

 

“Oh! That’s great kiddo! What’s their name? Do they like dogs? They seem like a dog person. Do they have pets?” Patton rambled on, only stopping when Logan gently intervened.

“Don’t overwhelm him, Patt. He’s nervous.” 

 

“Oh..! Sorry kiddo! I just get a bit excited sometimes..”

 

 Virgil chuckled lightly as Patton apologized. “It’s fine, Patton.. And his name’s Remy. He’s really nice. I’ll have to ask him sometime.”

 

“Okay!” Patton beamed.

 

   Virgil noticed something was off about the situation. He realized what it was after he looked around his group of friends and immediately spoke, attempting to help the person in question.

 

“Roman? Are you alright? You haven’t been speaking as much..”   
  
  Roman looked as if he was caught off guard for a second, but he perked up instantly as he realized he was being spoken to. 

 

“Uh.. yeah! Sorry.. It’s just that..” Roman paused, taking in a deep breath. “It’s just really good to see you again..”   
  
      Virgil lifted a sleeve to wipe the tears off of his boyfriend’s face, and spoke gently into his ear, even more soft than he had earlier in the evening.

 

“I know.. I’ve missed you too.. But it’s okay..”

 

        Virgil pulled back from his prince, but allowed himself to keep his hand rested on his boyfriend’s. When he looked back at his other two friends, he realized they were both looking at the pair sympathetically, but allowing them to have their moment.

 

“You alright kiddos?” Patton said, not wanting to make the pair feel guilty, but wanting to help them. 

 

“I think so, Patt..” Roman muttered, wiping his tears away from his face. “Do.. do you still have those games?”

 

Patton beamed lightly, and Logan chuckled at the question before stating, “of course he does, Roman, when does he not?”

 

     Patton just continued, smiling as he pulled the multiple games out of his cat bag, allowing Virgil to pick which one he wanted to play. Eventually, Virgil settled on Candy Land, before Patton was immediately told that he couldn’t have that game out because it had candy on it.

 

    Laughing it off, Virgil chose monopoly, and they played it until there was no time left of visiting, and Logan, Roman, and Patton had to go home. 

 

“I’m gonna miss you, but I promise we’ll be back the next time..” Roman muttered as he hugged Virgil, fighting back the usual tears.

 

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Patton added, joining the hug. Logan simply nodded, and entered the embrace as well, smiling slightly.

 

    After the hug was over, Logan checked back out of the building, and the sides going home gathered their stuff. One last goodbye later, Virgil was watching his friends leave.

 

    Suddenly, Remy was by the anxious trait’s side, and he spoke gently, not wanting to make Virgil upset, because he truly didn’t know how his visit went.

 

“Sooo… how did it go?” Remy asked, curious.

 

“Pretty decently.. did your friends come?” Virgil replied, feeling awkward now without his family.

 

“Yep. It could’ve went better, but I’ve seen worse. After all, I’ve been here for 5 months!” Remy joked.

 

  Together they laughed for the rest of the night. Without their families and friends, but happier then they thought they would be.

  
  


  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy was this fun to write. Sorry if it’s a bit short or not as good as usual, I’ve been dealing with a lot lately. I’m doing my best though, so I hope you all like it!
> 
> Stay safe!
> 
> -SASS


	16. Another Night

Virgil was pacing the room anxiously, while waiting for a long, restless night to end. He made sure that his roommate would not awaken from the sound of his footsteps, unsure of how the man would react. After a long while, he decided to lay back down in his bed, shifting uncomfortably on the mattress.

 

        He pulled the paper-thin blanket up over his head and sighed loudly. He rolled over on his side and rustled around a bit more, until he heard a soft knock on his door. 

 

 “Hey Virgil.. just checking in on ya! I heard some noises and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.!” Emile said as he poked his head through the door.

 

“Uh.. yeah.. I’m okay..” Virgil responded half-heartedly. He flipped over onto his other side to face Dr. Picani as he spoke. “Just.. can’t sleep.. nothing new I guess..”

 

  “Hmm.. well that’s no good! Do you have any meds to help with that?” 

 

“Um, no.. not that I know of..”

Virgil mumbled.

 

        “Alrighty, well I’m sure we can prescribe you something to combat your restlessness! Just come with me.” Emile smiled and gestures a hand out to Virgil, who reluctantly took it.

 

      Emile helped Virgil to get up out of bed, and took him out to the main hallway. He slowly guided him to a chair positioned right across from the nurse’s office, right near the front desk. Emile quickly ducked inside the office, rustling around cabinets and shelves, trying to find what he was looking for.

 

      After a while, Emile came back out with a small plastic container with a single white, oval shaped pill in one hand, and a cup of water in the other. He slowly approached Virgil, trying his best to be gentle as he set down the cups next to him.

 

     Virgil hesitated, and looked up at Emile. He was a little suspicious of the pill, but he brushed it off as his own anxiety acting up again. Steadily he grabbed the cup and put the pill into his palm. With shaky hands he picked up the water, and took the pill, not wanting to disobey Emile.

 

   Dr. Picani smiled softly at Virgil, hopeful that he would get some sleep. However, he stopped smiling when he realized Virgil’s body language.

 

    Virgil was pressing his back into the wall, seemingly trying to get away from Emile. His eyes were glazed over with a dark, misty look. The anxious trait was slightly whimpering and shaking his head, as if he was trying to tell someone something. 

 

“Virgil? Are you alright?” Emile said, concerned.

 

No response.

 

“Virgil?” He tried again. Still, the side in question remained detached from reality.

 

    Emile attempted to lay a hand on Virgil’s tense shoulder, trying to ground the shaking side. Virgil visibly flinched back at the touch, and salty tears started to pour from his eyes. He started to twitch violently and started to scratch at his forearms rapidly.

 

    Trying to stop Virgil from hurting himself, Emile pushed the anxious trait’s hand away from his arm, which stopped him for a couple seconds, but ultimately only postponed the act as it caused him to scream loudly.

 

      Before any other clients could be woken up from the sound, Emile attempted to get. Virgil to focus on his breath.

 

“Just breathe in for 4 seconds..” Emile said softly. 

 

   As Virgil followed the instruction, taking shaky, shallow breaths, Emile continued to try to ground him.

 

“Hold for 7 seconds.. and out for 8.. that’s good, keep it up..”

 

       After a long while of Virgil trying to steady his breathing, he finally calmed down, coming back to the room and away from his memories. Virgil was slumping in his chair, still whimpering slightly. Emile slowly reached out a hand before stopping himself.

 

“Is it okay if I touch your shoulder? I won’t do anything more.” Emile spoke softly.

 

    After a quick nod from Virgil, Emile rested a hand on the quivering side’s shoulder, trying to calm him down more. By now Virgil had stopped scratching at his arm, and had relaxed a bit.

 

        It was around 3:00 AM when it all happened, so Virgil was exhausted already. His flashback had stripped away any energy that he did have, so he almost completely passed out then and there.

 

“Do you want any medication that could help you with this? It might calm your nerves!” Emile said, going back to his usual chipper self.

 

   Virgil nodded again, and Emile ducked back into the nurses station to fetch another pill. Virgil let his eyes close for a couple of seconds, trying to keep his breathing under control.

 

       After Emile came back out, Virgil took the med that he had brought, and leaned back against the chair. Emile gestures for him to get up, and together they walked back into Virgil and Remy’s room. 

 

    If Remy was awake, he certainly was good at fake sleeping, because even as Virgil flopped back into his bed, he continued to snore loudly. Emile gave one last smile towards Virgil and whispered “sleep tight” before walking out the room.

 

     Now even more exhausted, Virgil had almost no problem doing just that, all energy taken from his body. He tossed and turned for a couple more minutes until he slowly slipped into sleep, happy that someone had helped him through another painful night.

  
  
  


  
  



	17. Helping with Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I haven’t been posting very frequently, I’ve been struggling a lot lately, and I haven’t been able to find the motivation to write these. I’m also a huge procrastinator, so I’m not very good at reaching deadlines anyways. I hope you guys like this, even though it’s been taking quite some time. There’s also a bit of swearing in this, so if that makes you uncomfortable, you should probably skip this chapter. 
> 
> Stay safe everyone!
> 
> -Sass

Patton had just finished making a wonderful breakfast, with pancakes, sausage, and eggs, and he was quite proud of himself. He quickly wiped his hands on his cat apron, took it off, and headed upstairs to tell the other sides that breakfast was ready.

 

“Loooooogannnnn!” Patton called cheerily. “Breakfastttt!” 

 

    Patton pressed his ear to the door, until he heard Logan coming towards the door. In a couple of seconds, Logan swung open the door to find Patton standing in front of him, smiling from ear to ear. 

 

“G’morning Patton..” Logan grumbled, straightening his glasses. He was still in his unicorn onesie, not afraid to wear it around the house anymore. His tie was loosely wrapped around his neck, and his hair was disheveled.

 

“Did ya just wake up? You look like you could’ve slept for a thousand years!” Patton smiled at Logan, ushering him away from the doorway.

 

“Shall I go fetch Roman?” Logan asked, slightly grinning at his boyfriend.

 

“Sure kiddo! I’ll meet you guys downstairs!”

 

  After a quick nod from Logan, they both went their separate ways, Patton going downstairs to prepare the plates, and Logan making his way to the prince’s room. After reaching Roman’s door, he swiftly knocked twice, waiting patiently as he heard shuffling behind the door.

 

   Roman came out of his room, a wide smile on his face.

 

“Why hello nerd! What can I do for you? Need me to go on an epic quest? Or perhaps slay a dragon witch?”

 

“Nope. Just need you to come downstairs and eat some breakfast with Patton and I.” Logan answered, a little annoyed at the prince’s extravagant disposition. Even though he was displeased, he couldn’t help but feel slight worry for Roman, as his expression changed quickly.

 

     Instantly when Logan mentioned ‘breakfast’, his smile faltered, and his gaze dropped to the floor. His thoughts started racing, and he was quick to think about the flaws of eating.

 

_ What if I gain too much wait from eating breakfast? That’s what’ll happen.. oh god I’m going to get fat. Fatter than I already am!! _

 

“Roman? Are you alright?” Logan said, concern edging his voice. He noticed that Roman was showing some of the signs that Virgil had shown when he was told to eat, and there was no way in  hell that Logan would let another one of his family members slip away.

 

   Roman, not wanting to worry Logan, immediately put on a fake smile, trying to show the logical side that he was okay.

 

“I’m fine, Lo.. I just.. I’m a bit tired..” Roman said, his voice wavering as he tried to have false confidence. “Let’s go!”

 

    Nodding, Logan started stepping down the stairs, Roman trailing behind him. When they arrived in the living room, they saw Patton carefully sliding food onto a plate, with one already on the table. Seeing the two other sides, Patton beamed brightly in their direction, waving a hand towards the table, inviting them to sit. 

 

    Cautiously, Roman pulled out a chair and sat on it, Logan doing the same as he took a seat across from the prince. Patton ambled over to Roman, setting a steaming plate of pancakes, eggs, and sausage in front of him, all covered with syrup.

 

    As Roman picked up a fork, Patton dug into the food excitedly, not wanting to waste another second simply staring at the food. Chuckling at his boyfriend lightly, Logan did the same, with a little less enthusiasm. After tasting the food, Logan’s eyes lit up, and he stared at Patton in surprise.

 

“Patton! This is amazing! I knew you could bake cookies, but this is a completely different thing!” Logan chirped. Patton smiled bright at the compliment, and dipped his head in acknowledgement for the praise.

 

“Thanks Lo! I think it tastes pretty good, if I do say so myself!” 

 

    Logan went back to silently eating his food, and Patton continued as well. Roman, however, was still just poking the food, and pushing it around the syrup-stained plate. He didn’t want to eat it, but knew he’d have to take a couple of bites, or else his family would be concerned.

 

“Kiddo? Are you alright?” Patton asked, eyes gleaming with concern and worry. 

 

“I-I’m fine, Patton..” Roman mumbled.

 

“Why aren’t you eating any? Do you not like it?” Patton sounded hurt.

 

“N-no! Of course not! I-I’m just.. N-not hungry.. That’s all!”

 

“Kiddo, you haven’t been hungry for the past few days! I’m worried about you..”

 

   At this point, Logan had stopped eating and was staring at Roman. He knew Roman had been neglecting his health, and he didn’t want it to go on any longer.

 

“Okay.. I’ll eat some..” Roman gave in, picking up some egg on his fork, and brought it close to his mouth.

 

    With a small wince, the prince began to chew the food, looking right back at Logan and Patton as he swallowed. He continued to eat, and looked at his stomach, which was beginning to fill. He cringed as he felt the food slide down his throat, and the thoughts in his head screamed louder.

 

_ Why the hell are you eating?!? You’re too FAT to eat this!! You don’t deserve it!!! Just leave the food, fatass!! _

 

    Satisfied, but still worried, Patton and Logan both went back to consuming their own food, glancing up at Roman every once in a while. 

 

  After they had all finished eating, they continued to talk for a while, though Roman seemed a bit disconnected from the conversation. 

 

_ Now you’ll have to get rid of this! You can’t have pancakes with syrup! That’s full of calories!! Too much for your worthless ass! _

 

   Suddenly Roman stood up, pushing his chair back as he ran to the bathroom. Before Patton or Logan could react, they heard the sound of vomiting from behind the closed door.

 

_ WORTHLESS! FAT! STUPID! UGLY! _

 

       The words repeated in Roman’s head as he shoved his fingers into the back of his throat, causing him to throw up. He continued to barf until all of the food was gone, and all he was throwing up was a yellow bile. Exhausted, he leaned back against the wall, almost passing out. Only then did he hear Patton and Logan banging on the door.

 

“KIDDO?!”

 

“Roman!!!”

 

“I’M KICKING THE DOOR DOWN!!”

 

“Patton wait-!”

 

   Suddenly, the door crashed to the floor, revealing Roman’s half-conscious body laying there. Patton quickly rushed to Roman’s side as Logan stared at the scene in front of him in horror.

 

“No.. Roman…” he mumbled sadly, before covering his mouth in shock.

 

“Please kiddo!! Stay with us!” Patton hugged Roman, who was still slipping in and out of reality.

 

     Quickly Roman fell into a comatose state, exhausted and drained from vomiting so often. Logan moved forwards, but Patton held him back with an arm.

 

“No, Lo.. I’ll take care of this..” Patton’s voice came as barely a whisper. 

 

   Obeying his boyfriend, Logan stepped back, confused as to what Patton would do. 

 

   Silently, Patton waved his wrist, which started glowing. The glow slowly got brighter and brighter, and eventually it became so bright, Logan had no choice but to look away. Glancing back to back sure Logan had shielded his eyes, Patton rested a hand on Roman’s heart. Slowly, the magic started pulsing through Roman, traveling down his limp body, and eventually out of it. The blue glow from Patton’s hand subsided as Roman blinked his eyes open again.

 

“P-Patton?” Roman stuttered.

 

“I’m here kiddo.. it’s okay..”

 

“I-I’m so sorry.. I shouldn’t have-“

 

“Shhhh… it’s alright kiddo.. I was just doing my job..”

 

“I-I promise I won’t do it.. again..”

Roman hiccuped, grief cracking his voice like an eggshell.

 

  Logan stepped forwards again, a little shocked by what he had just witnessed, but grateful nonetheless. Patton leaned forwards and hugged Roman, singing softly to him to calm down.

 

_ Take a moment to think of just _

_ Flexibility, love, and trust _

 

_ Take a moment to think of just _

_ Flexibility, love, and trust _

 

_ Here comes a thought.. _

_ That might alarm you _

 

_ What someone said.. _

_ And how it harmed you _

 

_ Something you did.. _

_ That failed to be charming _

 

_ Things that you said are _

_ Suddenly swarming, and oh _

 

_ You’re losing sight  _

_ You’re losing touch _

_ All these little things _

_ Seem to matter so much, _

 

_ That they confuse you.. _

_ That I might lose you.. _

 

  As Patton sung, Logan leans against the door frame, closing his eyes to listen to the beautiful melody.

 

_ Take a moment, remind yourself, to _

_ Take a moment and find yourself  _

_ Take a moment to ask yourself  if  _

_ This is how we fall apart.. _

 

_ But it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not.. _

 

_ It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay… _

 

_ You’ve got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear.. _

 

_ I’m here, I’m here, I’m here…. _

 

     As Patton finished the song, he realized Roman was crying. Patton hugged Roman tighter, careful not to hurt his weak body. Patton ushered Logan to come in, and together they embraced. 

 

   After a couple of minutes, Roman broke away from the hug, smiling ever so slightly at his friends. He mouthed the words “thank you”, too overwhelmed with emotions to form words.

 

“Of course kiddo.. we love you.. and we want you to get better..”

 

Patton’s voice shook as he added:

 

“I want us all to get better..”

 

      Logan and Roman both nodded, before going in for another hug. Together they stayed there for around an hour, just hugging and talking about things that make them happy. They all knew that, in time, they would make it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. The Final Day

Virgil was pacing the room, waiting for Remy to get out of the restroom, so they could go to breakfast together. It didn’t take long, for Remy had been in the hospital for so long that he knew how to quickly get dressed, so he wouldn’t keep anyone waiting. It had been about a week since Virgil had been admitted into the hospital, and Virgil was already doing much better. His vital signs were almost completely stabilized, other than his blood sugar levels, which he had been told would take a while to recover, along with his weight. Virgil was thinking over something he had heard the night before, and was anxiously awaiting telling Remy. 

 

      Virgil looked up and watched the bathroom door as he heard it click, and saw Remy pushing it open. Remy smiled at Virgil as he looked at him.

 

“Hey girl! What ya doing out here?” Remy said, with great amounts of enthusiasm.

 

“Nothing, just.. waiting out here I guess..” He paused and smiled at Remy, and continued speaking,” I have something to tell you.”

 

Remy nodded and sat on his bed, ready to listen to whatever he had to say. 

 

“Go on..”

 

“I’m.. I’m going home!” Virgil beamed, the words leaving a joyful effect on Virgil.

 

Remy’s eyes widened and he smiled, reaching out to pat Virgil on the shoulder. Virgil tensed up slightly as his friend touched his back, but relaxed quickly, knowing he would see his family soon.

 

“Wow, congratulations! I’m sure you’re happy to go back to your family, huh?” Remy said, with a tiny bit of sadness in his voice.

 

He nodded, then noticed Remy’s eyes tearing up.

 

“What’s wrong?” Virgil asked, his smile dropping slightly.

 

“Nothing…” Remy said, wiping a tear away. He smiled weakly and patted Virgil on the back again. “I’m just happy for you.”

 

     Virgil grinned slightly, before glancing at the door frame. Standing there was a nurse, smiling at the pair. She mouthed the word, “breakfast” and walked off. Nodding to Remy, Virgil stood up, still a little weak from malnutrition. They slowly made their way to breakfast, talking as they walked.

 

       When they got to breakfast, Remy was beaming brightly, still patting Virgil on the back from time to time, despite the disapproving looks from staff members. Remy made everyone aware that Virgil was leaving, and everyone congratulated him, happy he was recovering so quickly. Virgil silently smiled at the people he had come to know in his short time on the unit, and was honestly a little sad to leave them.

 

     “I’m sure you’ll do great outside of here, Virgil! You seem so brave and kind and wonderful! Your friends are lucky to have you.” Jennifer rambled, praising the anxious side as he shrank away at the compliments. Remy just kept nodding, agreeing with every word.

 

    After they ate breakfast, Remy was taken into a session with his therapist. Virgil kept talking with the others, waiting for Remy to get back. They did some groups with Dr. Picani, where they learned how to cope with negative emotions using skills such as distracting themselves, holding ice, and talking to themselves in a positive manner.

 

   After about an hour of learning these tips and tricks, Remy came back with a huge smile on his face. Virgil tilted his head, wondering why he was smiling so much. Remy had a few tears in his eyes, but they weren’t tears of sadness.

 

“Are you okay? You seem like you were crying..” Virgil asked, concern in his voice.

 

Remy nodded and grinned, and said, “I’m more than okay girl.. you’re not the only one going home today!” 

 

  Remy pulled Virgil into a hug, which Emile, who was in the room, couldn’t help but smile at, despite telling them to not touch each other.

 

Virgil hugged back and smiled at his friend, happy that he was finally able to get out of there.

 

“But who will you stay with? I thought your family wasn’t.. around.. anymore?” Virgil asked, hoping he wouldn’t upset him.

 

“With my friends, just like you. Just because my parents aren’t with us anymore, that doesn’t mean I’m completely on my own!” 

 

  Virgil sighed with relief, happy Remy hadn’t taken it too harshly. Remy continued to smile, and they talked happily about their friends until Virgil was called into the hallway, where there was a huge chair and a small desk set up.

 

“Alright Virgil! We need you to fill out a form on this computer here. It’ll only take a few minutes, and be sure to answer honestly!” Emile said, beaming down at him as Virgil sat in the chair.

 

     Virgil spent the next 10 minutes filling out the questionnaire, with questions such as “on a scale of 1 to 10, how much anxiety are you experiencing?” And “if you could say one thing that you would improve about this inpatient program, what would you change?” And so on. When he was finished, Emile called Remy out to do the same thing. 

 

  One of the other nurses came out into the hallway to help Virgil gather all of his things, like the art he had made during expressive therapy, his clothes, his books, and other things he brought along. Then they went to a small closet to get the items that were taken away from him, such as his bracelets, his shoes, and his clothing that was contrabanded for being “innapropriate for the unit”, like his My Chemical Romance T shirts and other T shirts depicting skulls. 

 

        Once he was done gathering his things, he was told to sit in a chair and wait for his friends to come get him. While he waited, he watched Remy pick up all of his own items. He saw Remy weaving around the rooms, and in and out of their bedroom. After about 20 minutes, Remy came over to sit by Virgil, smiling brightly.

 

“Hey girl! How’d it go, picking up all of that stuff you thought you’d never get again?” 

 

     “I guess okay.. I’m just glad I get to have my T shirts again!” Virgil joked, gesturing to his MCR shirt, which had the skeleton logo of the Welcome To The Black Parade album. 

 

        Remy smiled again, and glanced around the hospital that he had come to know too well. He made eye contact with Virgil, and kept chatting with him, waiting for his friends. 

  
  


        After about 45 minutes, Virgil was called over to the front door, where he saw his friends standing behind the glass, grinning madly. Remy waved goodbye, smiling ever so brightly. Virgil waved back, mouthing the word “bye”, and turned around to leave.

 

    The second Roman and Patton saw Virgil walking through the glass door, their faces lit up with joy. Logan was only slightly less excited, but absolutely overcomed by happiness nonetheless. They all ran towards Virgil and gripped him in a tight group bear hug, all smiling.

 

“Kiddo!!! I’m so glad you’re back!”

 

“As am I” Logan agreed.

 

    Roman was too overcame by emotions to speak, so he just smiled and nodded, hugging him tightly and never wanting to let go. Virgil hugged back, practically crying from joy.

 

“I love you so much..! Please never leave me again..!” Roman said in a choked up voice, almost sobbing.

 

“I won’t, Roman… I promise it’s over now…” Virgil started to cry, overwhelmed by emotions.

 

Patton wiped a tear away, moved by Roman and Virgil’s actions. He took Logan’s hand and tightened his grip around it.

 

Logan smiled down at Patton and lightly kissed his forehead, before turning to the two others.

 

“Let’s get out of here.” 

 

  Roman and Virgil nodded, smiling slightly. Together, they made their way out of the hospital. Roman and Virgil held each other’s hand, and so did Patton and Logan. They went downstairs, and Logan signed them out of the hospital. They walked out the front doors, and headed to the car they had rented to replace their old one in silence.

 

   Logan hopped into the driver’s seat, Patton sitting next to him, and Roman and Virgil stepped into the back of the rental car. Logan turned on Virgil’s favorite station, and they cracked jokes and sang along to the music the whole way back.

 

     Driving the winding roads, they all smiled and laughed, savoring every moment of happiness they got. They knew what it was like to be torn apart, and they would do anything to never lose another member of the family again, even if it was only for a week.

 

   Once they got home, they had lunch, which Patton made sure was light, so nobody would be uncomfortable with it. Patton smiled as he watched Roman and Virgil both eat it, glad they were finally better.

 

 Now, they all knew that life wasn’t going to be perfect, but in those moments, they fully believed that everything would be perfectly okay. They knew that for the time being, they had escaped the nightmares within…


	19. Thank you!!

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read my first fan fiction! It really means a lot to me to know that people are enjoying my work, and I’m so glad you all like it so much! I know it’s not perfect, but all of your support means the world to me! Unfortunately this is the end of this story, but I’m definitely going to write more stuff in the future, after seeing all of the support on my work! It really inspires me to know that people are liking this, and I honestly can’t even describe how much this means to me. I’ve been struggling a lot throughout the making of this story, and it was all based off of my own experiences with eating disorders and anxiety. This was mostly based off of a true story, and I just thought it would be a good idea to turn my suffering into art, in a way. I hope you all enjoyed it, despite it’s flaws and how long it took to post each chapter, because I tried to put as much effort as I could into it. Thank you everyone!!

 


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